Transitioning to a bankrupt mentality

[fileda13]

No matter how much of a conformist I believe I am, flicking the switch of change is a difficult one. Having lived life a certain way, and finding myself having no choice but to file, it is a drastic change not only in lifestyle but in everyday thinking.

One thing filing has done to me is that I really have lost my desire to shop. That being said, as I am currently in the transition period having only filed several weeks ago. The hardest part for me is redefining certain words such as "want" and "need". I know how to make a budget, but sticking to it with all of the "surprises" will be difficult, thus making every little penny spent more valuable.

I have lived with my toys, eating at restaurants, travelling - all things I love to do. And even though I've tried to convince myself that I have not been extravagent, that is yet another word requiring a redefinition. I used to compare the word extravagent to othe people, but now in hindsight extravagent should be defined only against the income that I make. So if I spend more than I make (living beyond my means), I am extravagent. That must stop or i will fail.

Yes - transition is hard. It's doable, but hard. next step 341 meeting. Until then, I will continue to redefine myself.

[tobee43]

it appear bk as a tendency to do that...humble ever the best of those that never intended to ever be in this situation.

it truly is a life change. scary, but it works really, it just takes some time to adjust and it could take a while, but it will happen basically out of necessity, which is not always the best way to learn a lesson.

but, i must tell you, going through this, we never mismanaged our money, we lost our jobs, had an illness that wiped out our savings..who would have though, we hadn't been late on a bill in 30 plus years...actually 40 years, because we were ONLY late when the mortgage company insisted we MUST stop paying so that we could apply for loan mod. we were one of the odd ones that paid our cc's up until filing...it paid off since they never got the opportunity to report negatively which helped us rebuild our standing we believe anyway, after we were discharged.

you'll do fine at your 341!!

[APL]

I'm transitioning fairly well, I think. Buying only what i need, not what i want.

What i'm not doing well on: medical care and taking care of myself, not taking prescription medication I need. Also my diet is very poor, I'm eating the cheapest of the cheap.

One thing that I really don't like about how my thinking has changed is that I'm having a hard time getting rid of/donating/throuwing out anything. I know there's no money to replace it. I'm afraid I'll become a hoarder.

The other thing is the sad loss of my social life. I've turned down so many invitations to dinner, drinks, movies etc. that people have just stopped asking me. Nobody wants to come to my place with no A/C, it's very isolating. I need to meet more poor people like me lol.

The positives outweigh the negatives. I didn't realize how much every waking minute (and sometimes sleeping too) was consumed by being worried about credit card debt. I've learned new ways of happiness too, like the thrill of a great sale or getting something for next to nothing using coupons.

[feelingnutsy]

I somehow started the transition into minimalism before
I ever started the meltdown process to bk---so it wasn't
as hard to sell or give away a lot of things in a house that
had accumulated a substantial amount over many years.

[Thor]

Wow, this is so much how I feel. Hubby & I couldn't take it anymore and filed Chapter 13 a year ago exactly. Even though it is nice that I don't have to worry about how much the minimum payment is this time for our credit cards (which is what did us in), I feel I'm not the same person and have become more withdrawn. Yes, we have to budget and things are much different. There is good and bad. Not that we lived high off the hog. But, it is very hard to save with food, etc. going up so high and we are still living paycheck to paycheck, even tho it is not as bad. It is just very depressing to see what has happened with the economy and I liked to go out once in awhile and eat out (nothing expensive). I have given up so many little things like buying the tabloids every week, stuff like that. But it has been a life changer, good and bad.

I don't miss the credit card bills. Part of our problem was not getting raises (I'm a lowly state worker) and now things are horrible, but I was telling hubby last night that we probably should have done this sooner. I remember getting sick to my stomach on pay day. I would write out checks, primarily to credit cards, and see my balance go down and down till there was nothing left to cash out for living expenses. Yes, it got that bad. I've also lost my desire to shop, which probably isn't good for the economy in the long run. What an experience, good and bad.

[sunshinepa]

Truthfully, I had no problem with the transition. It was a much needed business decision. Would I rather not have done it, absolutely! I am hopefully 11 days away from discharge and my life has gotten back to where it was before the cc companies raised my rates and payments and cut my limits. In 30 years, I was never late with a payment, rarely carried a balance on 12 cards and never missed a payment on anything.

I once again have peace of mind (or will if no AP gets filed last minute) and although I am frugal, I can once again enjoy life. Trust me, mine had been put on hold for a long time as previously posted w/taking care of my father during brain cancer, supporting my son and his kids. I have a bit of savings again and can actually get out sometimes.

I feel blessed everyday to have my pension and not have to worry about job loss or wage cuts. I feel for everyone who has to endure that stress. But most of all, I made my peace with the decision to file BK and know that I am blessed with wonderful family and freinds.

I hope that those who have gone thru BK and those in the process will one day feel as blessed as me.

Good luck to us all!