Looking affluent at 341...how not to's?

[Bobby'sGirl]

I had jury duty on Monday; a criminal case involving a home invasion and battery of a local doctor and his wife. After a round of questioning of jurors pre-trial, I was dismissed and not chosen for the jury. In discussing this with my lawyer yesterday (he had said to let him know if I was seated as a juror or not, with the pending BK it might be a problem for a civil case but not a criminal one) he said he was not expecting me to be picked to serve on the jury. He says I look "too affluent" and would be expected by the defendent's lawyer to identify with the victims who were robbed. I didn't think about asking him at the time, but now I am wondering about the impact at my 341 hearing this fall (will be filing in mid August). I don't have a lot of clothes or jewelry, but have always bought "quality" and have "good genes" so I have aged well (60). I am letting my hair go natural, not covering the gray with blonde highlights anymore, and have never worn much makeup, so "going bare" won't make much of a change.

I know to leave jewelry at home that day, but any ideas to tone down my "affluent" appearance??? A friend says to not sound so educated, but how am I supposed to do that when I'm questioned at the 341? I am well below median income for my state, I am more concerned with not having to jump through hoops with the trustee/US trustee because of bailing out of a failing business last year and selling at a big loss to my former operations manager.

I hope I am worrying over nothing, but any ideas would be welcome.

[keepmine]

There is nothing wrong with dressing neatly and professionally.
I'd just say, "go with what ya got".Good point about leaving the expensive jewelry at home. As to responding to questions, the truth is the truth regardless of how educated you sound. Just answer all questions put to you truthfully and don't worry about how you sound. If the question can be answered "yes or no"-then give that answer and don't elaborate.

[lrprn]

There is nothing wrong with dressing neatly and professionally.
I'd just say, "go with what ya got".Good point about leaving the expensive jewelry at home. As to responding to questions, the truth is the truth regardless of how educated you sound. Just answer all questions put to you truthfully and don't worry about how you sound. If the question can be answered "yes or no"-then give that answer and don't elaborate.

Agree with KeepMine. One thing that amazed me is that when we had our 341, the majority of the people there were dressed very casually - jeans and t-shirts mainly - including several of the lawyers! My husband and I were both in slacks and open collar casual shirts (no jewelry other than our wedding bands) and we looked rich in comparison. Don't know if your experience will be the same - let us know afterwards, ok? Good luck with your 341!

[SinkingFast]

Hubby has more than a few designer dress shirts for wear to work, but I've never paid full price. I've bought them all at 2nd hand stores. $3, $4, maybe $5 each. But when other people see his "work" clothes, they don't know I'm a smart shopper. They just see those designer logos.

Maybe spend some time shopping at Goodwill where you can buy lower quality for not much money??!! Get an outfit there that is dress casual. Suitable for Court, but not the "quality level" of the clothes you own. If you catch my drift.

Letting your hair go "Au Natural" in color is a good idea. Maybe don't even bother to get a hair cut or style between now and then. Maybe that way, you'll have to pin your hair back out of your face to see, and be a bit shaggy looking there as well.

If you typically keep your nails well done, let those go too. We're all here for BK so I'm not talking manicure type stuff. Just you taking nice care to file and shape and polish your nails. I always notice when people have well done nails. Even when they use clear polish. It gives their nails a finished look.

As far as how you talk,............. Talking down takes practice. I worked professionally with Doctorates, using scientific terminology, making production decisions that could impact the company by hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars/product. Then all the sudden, I'm with Mommies who worked as secretaries and receptionists and our world revolved around the color of the pooh in the diapers that day. Talking down takes practice.

For example,......... I cannot explain to the average person on the street what Hubby does for a living. I could always see the curtain come down in other person's eyes, then I'd get the nod, and then the "Yeah. Uh Huh." and I knew I was talking over their head. So, I gave up trying. Now, I just say he's in pharmaceutical research. So, if you're a psychologist, maybe tell people you're a counselor or a social worker.

Think semantics. You can say one big word, or you can say 10 little words that mean "roughly" the same thing. You can go into a rather detailed explanation, or you can say "pharmaceutical research" and be done with it. Step into the other person's shoes in your mind.

[pink_amulet]

Our 341 was on HALLOWEEN....LOL
My hubby wore..nice jeans and nice plain t-shirt. I wore nice jeans pants and a nice t-shirt. We had our 5yr old with us, in jeans and a t-shirt, other son was in school. I wore my wedding ring, and that was it for jewerly. My son had his gameboy.
I coulndn't believe some of the people ...no DL, or No SS cards... was like huh?? Not prepared!! There were people yapping on their cell phones I kept mine off, and in my purse...some people with loads of jewerly, some in designer clothes. I was wow? Glad we went before them...LOL NOONE was in professional/dress clothes except the lawyers and the trustee. We were in NW IL.
At our 341 people were called into a private room to talk to the trustee. At our turn, my son went waltzing in..LOL and the trustee smiled. The Trustee talk to my son than us...LOL
We answered all of our questions yes and no....never asked another type. The trustee ended the meeting by telling our son to have mom and dad take you trick or treating for lots of goodies! We thanked him left...
Painless and it was over before I knew it!!!! I had worked myself up for nothing!

Good luck

[bkbiker]

Hi,

I was thinking of wearing my suit to the 341 meeting, now I only wear this a few times a year and never feel really comfortable wearing a suit and tie.

So after some thought and reading, I wanted to go to this meeting feeling confidant, relaxed, and normal; I wore my clean work cloths; boots, khaki pants, old dress shirt, my company’s jacket and cap. I felt right and the meeting was over in a few minutes.

Good luck,
bkbiker

[keepmine]

There was no rhyme nor reason to the attire at my 341.
I took the day off from work and wore dress slacks and a longsleeve white shirt {no tie} and a sport coat.
The lady before me was a nurse. She had on scrubs and sneakers and the hospital ID around her neck. I saw people in expensive suits and then, people in jeans and flannel shirts and belt buckles the size of a dinner plate.
My trustee seemd quite sensitive to people with small children. I was scheduled for 10 a.m. {along with about 50 other people}. The 9 a.m. session wasn't done until 10:30. After a short break, he walked in and I over heard him tell his clerk that there was a couple in the hall with a small baby and to inquire as to there name and jump them to the top of the list.

[so-beyond-broke]

341 attire

When I had my 341 back in May, I wore a black pant suit with a blue blouse and dress shoes. I am from NYC and I felt overdressed with the exception of the lawyers of course.There were some people in jeans, sneakers and t-shirts very casual. I felt that I needed to be "dressed up" because I was dealing with a court proceeding. But my "5 minutes of fame" was over and done with. On Monday when I had my reaffirmation hearing (which was only a minute) I still wore a pair of dress slacks, a sleeveless sweater and a pair of fashionable sandals. After all we were in the middle of a heat wave. It was 95 degrees. One lady that accompanied her grandmother to the hearing stood before the judge as if she rolled out of the bed. She was literally had on pajama pants and a white sleeveless shirt the type that the guys wear in the summer and flip flops. She also had fat bulging out of places. I can only imagine what the judge was thinking during the 2 minutes that they stood in front of him. I certaintly wasn't taking any chances.

Don't sweat it. I think that the trustee is more interested in your answers based on the documents that you have filed.

sbb

[debtisbad]

Just play to your audience. I have been in sales my entire life and that is the philosophy that I always used. If the people talk smart, then I talk smart. I also wear what the others around me wear. So to your meeting just wear what everyone else is wearing. Talk like everyone else is talking. Do not say much, state your facts and that is it. Leave the make up off, and jewelry at home. Go very simple and act humbled, and you will be fine. Let us know how it goes.

[rebtimrob]

At our meeting we had people who were in riped jeans and dirty t-shirts. I wore a nice pair of slacks and a light sweater, hubby wore slacks and a button down shirt no tie. We each wore our wedding bands. The trustee was VERY rude to us and told us that she has a hard time granting a BK to a couple who makes more than she does a year. She asked how we got our bills so high we answered her and she claimed that because our income was so high that we HAD to be lying about our house and what it was worth so she wanted to come to our house. She never did and our lawyer said it was a scare tactic to scare us and see what we would say to her. I just bit my lip because I am a redhead who doesn't take much crap from others. Our lawyer said that she is one of the toughest trustee's out that and she likes to pick on those who took the time to "dress up" a little. I was just really glad it was over, I almost threw up sitting at her desk while she was talking to us and of course it was in OPEN court so everyone in the room heard us. I was glad to see that there were people who were dressed to the hilts beyond how we were dressed. She never did come to our house to check on anything and it was about a month later that we got our papers that said it was final!!

[fiats3]

Well, in punitive, puritannical Virginia...

my wife got chided by the trusteee for wearing gold earrings to her 341 and not lisitng them on her schedules...it was surreal.

Thankfully, she had left her Rolex at home, probably only by accident....

[DisneyGirl]

I say just be yourself. Otherwise you may come off as nervous or hiding something. You already know not to wear your jewlery and such. So dress how you'd normally dress and talk like you would to anyone else. It'll be fine.

[anonymuse]

my wife got chided by the trusteee for wearing gold earrings to her 341 and not lisitng them on her schedules...it was surreal.

Thankfully, she had left her Rolex at home, probably only by accident....

How could she even tell? I have plenty of "gold" colored earrings, but none of them are made of gold!

[SinkingFast]

How could she even tell? I have plenty of "gold" colored earrings, but none of them are made of gold!

I've wondered about wearing the earrings I have on right now.

From a distance, I'm sure people might think they're diamond studs. They're just little crystal and SS studs. Daughters gave them to me off one of those 6 pairs for $3 cards you get at the Dollar Store.

[anonymuse]

I've wondered about wearing the earrings I have on right now.

From a distance, I'm sure people might think they're diamond studs. They're just little crystal and SS studs. Daughters gave them to me off one of those 6 pairs for $3 cards you get at the Dollar Store.

My primary source of "high quality jewelry" is Big Lots and Ross Dress for Less. Woo hoo!