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    #16
    Everyone, thank you so very much. As hubby was and has been a Controller / VP / Sr. Finance Manager, its been very hard to accept being unemployed. He has even dummied up his resume and started applying to Sr. Analyst positions, just to get money in the door
    Chapter 7 filed 11/4/10 ---- 341 Meeting 12/1/10 ---- Discharge 1/31/2011.

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      #17
      i wish you both the best fallon!!!

      something will come up! i just know it!
      8/4/2008 MAKE SURE AND VISIT Tobee's Blogs! http://www.bkforum.com/blog.php?32727-tobee43 and all are welcome to bk forum's Florida State Questions and Answers on BK http://www.bkforum.com/group.php?groupid=9

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        #18
        Tobee, thanks, you have always been just grand.

        Originally posted by tobee43 View Post
        i wish you both the best fallon!!!

        something will come up! i just know it!
        Chapter 7 filed 11/4/10 ---- 341 Meeting 12/1/10 ---- Discharge 1/31/2011.

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by Fallonedward View Post
          Tobee, thanks, you have always been just grand.
          just want to be there for you....you sure have been there for many yourself!! including me!!!

          next year will be your best!!! maybe new and different...but i know it will be good.

          we are still adjusting but it's just a part of life..and actually interesting and a bit fun...remember the cup is 1/2 full....it's easier to smile.. and move on!
          8/4/2008 MAKE SURE AND VISIT Tobee's Blogs! http://www.bkforum.com/blog.php?32727-tobee43 and all are welcome to bk forum's Florida State Questions and Answers on BK http://www.bkforum.com/group.php?groupid=9

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            #20
            Tobee, I've said this before but you always inspire me, I seek out your posts and worry when I don't see you posting for a few days. Yours and everyone else kind words have really helped me today.

            It breaks my heart to see my highly educated hubby whom I adore and love to be this sad

            Originally posted by tobee43 View Post
            just want to be there for you....you sure have been there for many yourself!! including me!!!

            next year will be your best!!! maybe new and different...but i know it will be good.

            we are still adjusting but it's just a part of life..and actually interesting and a bit fun...remember the cup is 1/2 full....it's easier to smile.. and move on!
            Chapter 7 filed 11/4/10 ---- 341 Meeting 12/1/10 ---- Discharge 1/31/2011.

            Comment


              #21
              It's hard because being a provider is part of many mens' identities. I dunno if it's cultural, socioeconomic, or just plain hardwired genetics. Maybe some kind of combination. When part of someone's identity is taken away there's a big hole and it's not surprising that he might feel like he's letting his family down. If the time feels right & he seems open to it, it might not hurt to remind him that there's a lot more to him than just being a provider. He's a leader and a teacher and ... fill in the blanks. And if he believes in God, then perhaps a gentle reminder that God might be telling him to get on with more important things besides being a finance manager. What would he love to do to make the world a better place, given the chance? What if this is that opportunity? (Just sayin'...)

              Hang in there.
              If the seas were always calm & easy, there wouldn't be any good captains.
              OK - from now on it's not a "Bankruptcy." It's a "Weight Loss Program." I'm in. Sign me up.

              Comment


                #22
                Originally posted by Fallonedward View Post
                Tobee, I've said this before but you always inspire me, I seek out your posts and worry when I don't see you posting for a few days. Yours and everyone else kind words have really helped me today.

                It breaks my heart to see my highly educated hubby whom I adore and love to be this sad

                oh! how i know...for the first time i saw my strong, kind husband fall apart.....that was harder on me than it was him...although he would and will never know that. i was the one that had to be strong for that moment in our time....it was my turn to hold up both ends....

                i don't know about inspiring anyone...i just like people to understand what we are going through and how we handled our situation and are still trying our best to adjust. you are sweet to say that, but all i want is to pay it forward and try or attempt to help those that are going through this and let them know they are not alone.

                for us...we have no time for depression...we have to keep moving...take action...get better...make it better...and you get there by doing NOT thinking about what to do...they become numb....and it's difficult..we just need to stick to them like glue...try to make them happy with the small and large things that REALLY matter...like them and how important to us they are and we love them no matter what....it will take a while...i think mine husband is just coming out of the daze....

                he wore a suit and tie everyday for over 40 years...now i see him ...i told him he looks homeless and will be IF he doesn't change his clothes!!!! (he sue to demand creases in his blue jeans).....so i have to be down his neck for now...but i can see him coming out of it, it does take a while. and...i did take him to the doctors since i had never ever seen him like this and it was more scary than losing everything we ever owned. the doctor did help...he was on meds about 2 months that was it....and things are slowly getting better....there is NO more NORMAL...so things are getting back to whatever they are suppose to be for now. just as long as we are happy, healthy and have a roof...we are good to go...remember that!!! and of course your kids...they also must be balance there...what a load to carry i know...but you can do this and will!!!!!
                Last edited by tobee43; 12-30-2010, 11:18 AM.
                8/4/2008 MAKE SURE AND VISIT Tobee's Blogs! http://www.bkforum.com/blog.php?32727-tobee43 and all are welcome to bk forum's Florida State Questions and Answers on BK http://www.bkforum.com/group.php?groupid=9

                Comment


                  #23
                  I am so sorry to see so many going through this. Unemployment is hard. Try to keep a sense of humor and try really, really hard to remember that when it comes to your own personal situation - the people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter. ((((Hugs))))
                  Filed Ch. 7 11/8/10: Survived 341 Meeting 12/13/10 Report of No Distribution!! 12/14/10Received UST Presumption of Abuse!! 12/15/10 UST states Dismissal is Inappropriate! DISHARGED!! 2/22/11

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Peeps, thanks so much for this excellent prospective. I did just ask hubby, "What would he love to do", his answer FIND A JOB...

                    thanks so very much, him being down is getting me down

                    Originally posted by Peeps View Post
                    It's hard because being a provider is part of many mens' identities. I dunno if it's cultural, socioeconomic, or just plain hardwired genetics. Maybe some kind of combination. When part of someone's identity is taken away there's a big hole and it's not surprising that he might feel like he's letting his family down. If the time feels right & he seems open to it, it might not hurt to remind him that there's a lot more to him than just being a provider. He's a leader and a teacher and ... fill in the blanks. And if he believes in God, then perhaps a gentle reminder that God might be telling him to get on with more important things besides being a finance manager. What would he love to do to make the world a better place, given the chance? What if this is that opportunity? (Just sayin'...)

                    Hang in there.
                    If the seas were always calm & easy, there wouldn't be any good captains.
                    Chapter 7 filed 11/4/10 ---- 341 Meeting 12/1/10 ---- Discharge 1/31/2011.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Originally posted by Fallonedward View Post
                      his answer FIND A JOB...
                      Well, at least he's focused!


                      Hang in there.
                      OK - from now on it's not a "Bankruptcy." It's a "Weight Loss Program." I'm in. Sign me up.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Peeps, that is what I needed a different look at this. You are right he is focused.

                        Thanks again, this post brought a smile to my heart

                        Originally posted by Peeps View Post
                        Well, at least he's focused!


                        Hang in there.
                        Chapter 7 filed 11/4/10 ---- 341 Meeting 12/1/10 ---- Discharge 1/31/2011.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          At my last company party, when my Hubby was asked what he does, he said "It's a full time job keeping her happy (referring to me, of course), so I stay pretty busy doing that". It was a great answer - it made everyone laugh and start telling funny stories about the ends that we go through to keep spouses happy, which took all the pressure off of him.
                          Filed Ch. 7: 10-28-2010 Report of No Distribution: 12-16-2010 Disharged and Closed 2-18-1011

                          Comment


                            #28
                            I know personally the depths of depression a man can go to when he is unemployed due to the fact that this world put's so much emphasis on how much an individual can earn.

                            I would say that at times like this it would be a good time to focus on health, and God! Pray every day!

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