I want and appreciate all your help. Kathy

[pamkev]

Great News Kathy. I'm happy to hear this your on your way

[bookworm]

I'm over weight.

Even this doesn't have to be a permanent. Maybe join a gym, or a yoga class? Exercise will not only help you get into shape, but it would also relieve some of the stress, and give you something to do besides hit up the bar and casino. And, it's a good way for you to make new friends (as per Drazil's suggestion).

If a gym membership is too costly, perhaps you could start a group with the people in your GA group (or, AA, if you choose to join them). Invite them to your house for a workout, or to go walking. At least you know these people would give you the support you'll need as you work your way out of trouble.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I think angelina is correct in her thinking that I come here looking for pity and condolences.I had a long talk with my sponsor and she pretty much said the same thing. I guess I got off topic because my main purpose for coming here to to file a BK without my husband being involved and if I could have done what I wanted to do, many of my problems would have gone away. I was looking for an easy out. But I didn't get it. And PJ you are correct that many of you have paid a high price for your recovery.
I've got a very good sponsor and a backup one if for any reason she isn't available. I've agreed to go to a meeting every night this week. I'm going to get serious about all this and not try to find that easy out that I have been looking for. First meeting is this evening at 7pm.

Kathy, don't confuse me with my dear wife AC. We both see things in a different light at times and we do not post tandem as we have our own thoughts.

I believe you are coming around and you literally have hundreds of watchers and those of us brave enough to give you our heart felt sincerity of love and hope. My point that I was making is this: Too many times people come here to fool us. If we all spend time and thought not to mention research, and it is vain, then we are the fools. Please take us seriously in that even if we do not know every situation as it is in your reality, by your words we take our best shot at advising you. It is YOU that must put this advice into practice. Of course you are closer to the situation than all of us, but from what you tell us, we can determine in our own hearts, what we would do if you.

Please when DH comes home from his trip, explain to him and let him even see this forum and tell him all. Perhaps, just perhaps, he will go one more time and if he does, don't you see the relief you will have? Get rid of the shady loaners and get right with your DH and above all, get right with yourself. Doing the same thing over and expecting different results equals lunacy. You are not nutz, just troubled. Lick that devil. You are strong enough to bare all to us, be strong enough to follow through. Keep us posted. We all love you in God. 'Hub

[kathyc02124]

ok, the meeting went very well. I met several of the members and met a couple that I felt good being with. My sponsor and I have agreed to go walking 2 miles each evening this week either before or after our meeting. So, I am making commitments now that I haven't been doing before. I feel different this time so I think I may be looking at this whole mess a little more serious. We are working on making a complete list of everyone I owe money to and and we are going to try to work out a payment plan. She asked me if there was any family members that might be able to help me and I told her that I don't want to take money from anyone ever again. It just makes things worse for me in the long run. This is something that "I" have to come up with for finances. Other people have helped bail me out and I end up never repaying them.
So it has been a long day. My husband is not speaking to me after my actions of the past few days, so we are sleeping in separate rooms tonight. I have a lot of mending to do.
This is a good start (again). My sponsor and my backup sponsor are wonderful people that really care. And there are wonderful people on the board here. I am blessed and I hope I take advantage of all my resources. I'm trying hard.

[pamkev]

Kathy,
I'm glad things went well at the meeting. Sounds like you have a caring sponsor and walking will do you good.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Grats on some progress. I believe the club probably told you that you must take one day at a time. Good advice as every day is a challenge and that goes for everyone. We do not know what the day holds for us. However we can choose to have a good day no matter what. Choose to succeed every day. We are all rooting for you, and your DH will see your efforts in a few days and he will be his old self soon. Right now think only of yourself and your challenge. Show him results. 'Hub

[angel7821]

You are on the right path. Just keep going. I am cheering you on!

[AngelinaCat]

As am I.

[kathyc02124]

got some unexpected assistance today. A very real incentive to go straight. I had a DUI this past saturday night on my way home from the bar. That's is one of the reasons why I am sleeping alone right now. But if that wasn't enough, a district court judge this morning raised his voice and pointed his finger and told me to attend 30 AA meetings in 30 days and I had to surrender my driver's license to the court clerk. I will see him again near the end of october and he said that he "better not see me again" before then. My attorney looked at me and said the "jig is up" and the fiddler has come for his pay. I am not sure exactly what the cute phrases mean, but the way the judge pointed his finger at me tells me that he has lost patience with me. (I've been in his courtroom before). When my attorney said something about not being able to pay any fines, the judge said I could look into working a little harder. So I am not going to get any help from him.
My sponsor is picking me up at 5:30 and we are going to stop for something to eat and then head for the meeting. Now I am completely dependent the local bus to and from work and taxis for anything else. ugh.

[Drazil65]

Kathy, that DUI may be one of the best things that ever happened to you! Now you have no choice but to face the drinking issue and get to AA and this in turn will help with the gambling issue as well. it sounds like you are out of time and favors in this court and no more chances coming your way, game over. Being forced to deal with these things head on is probably the thing that will save you in the long run.

"When my attorney said something about not being able to pay any fines, the judge said I could look into working a little harder. So I am not going to get any help from him".

You are so very wrong about the Judge, you are getting a lot of help from him! The exact kind of help you need right now, the tough love kind of help. Funny how you sound a little upset because you are not getting the kind of help you think you should get from the him. The last thing you need is more enabling from people and with him being in a position to dictate how you live your life right now then he did the best thing for you and the general public (sorry but you were a bad risk driving drunk). You will thank him one day!

[AngelinaCat]

Drazil65, you took the words out of my mouth! ^^^^^^^

[pamkev]

Yep Drazil65 said it all

[kathyc02124]

The problem I have is now harder because he is making me go to meetings everyday for the next 30 days. That's not going to be easy since he took my license. I asked for it to be 3 times a week and he he was very stern and said 30 meetings in 30 days. Period. There was no room for discussion. He didn't even ask if I was able to do it. My attorney told me I was lucky that he didn't want me to go through detox. But I am not that bad that I would want that anyway. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me instead of a frontal lobotomy, comes to mind.
The problem is it is now harder to raise money to pay my bills and future fines, which can be as much as $3000 with court fees and the towing of my car and my attorney fees, yet he wants me to attend meetings every evening, so now instead of working overtime a few nights, I'll have to work my days off. Now I won't have any free time to myself.
The judge may be taking care of a drinking problem, but he will be adding to my money woes. And he knows better because I was before him last january on bad check charges when I couldn't cover several checks I cashed at the casino.
So, I don't think he is being very understanding about that.
But I am going along with everything he says.
My husband is very upset about the dui and my arrest. He let me sit there all night before coming down to make my bail. I only had one phone call and couldn't call anyone else. Bail was only $75, so I know he had the money. But I only had $23 with me.

[AngelinaCat]

Kathy, you need to stop whining and crying and GROW UP woman!

That judge is doing you a favor by imposing on you for 30 days, a discipline that you cannot/will not impose on yourself.

Count your Blessings! You are HOME tonight. Your husband is home tonight, though he is not happy with you. He did NOT have to bail you out. You could be still sitting in jail.

You are at home, whining and crying because of all the things you cannot do. You are THINKING ONLY OF YOURSELF!!

Instead of that, you need to be down on your knees thanking Almighty God, however you worship--if you do--and give THANKS that you were taken off the road before you stuck and killed somebody, possibly a child. You might be sitting in jail right now awaiting trial on manslaughter charges.

As of now, you still have your job. You still have your sponsors. You still can work your way out of your problems, but only YOU can do it. But you have to WANT to. And MEAN it. The time for enabling is over. It is time to grow up and be an adult.

[angel7821]

It's only for 30 days.