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Unmarried Fathers rights

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  • Unmarried Fathers rights

    My nephew is unmarried father. Dealing with seeing his baby at her convenience for only 30 mins , 2 times a week. He is desperate to put his name on Birthrecords. She refuses and has given the baby girl her name her married name.
    Does he have any rights at all? I say no. I tried to get him to see attorney b4 birth but now that he has gone to see one
    He took his 150 and just said take what you can get for now. Bond with the baby. What a crock.

    He met this girl in Oct 2011, a waitress with 2 kids, she was on welfare going to lpn school. They dates a few months, I think she was looking for meal ticket. She immediately wanted to move from her MOM house to his 1 bedroom apt , He said no, too small. He had just signed a new lease. So a few months later she announces she was PG. They made plans to marry in June 2012 ( finishes her schooling and can afford to loose her welfare). She lost the baby, they were sad. Nature took its course. She finsihed school and got job and her own apt and decided she did not want to marry my Nephew. He is heartbroken. He was taking and picking up her kids and helping her out. She then announces she is PG again and due in Feb 2013. He went to a few dr appointments and wanted to be there at birth. She went to hospital and had baby then called his sister to tell her the baby was born. She is being a royal B, He must bring his Mom or Sister to come visit the baby only twice a week and only 30 mins. He is not violent or anything, she does not him to argue with her over the birth records. He is in love with the baby girl. Now and in terrible emotional pain.
    chpt 7 ,5-2009

  • #2
    He's got to take the bull by the horns. He has to file to establish that he is the father if she won't acknowledge it, file for jt custody and parenting time, and to have his name placed on the birth certificate. If she won't acknowledge that he is the father , then he is going to have to ask for a paternity test. It is going to be costly, but the best thing for him to do is find a good attorney and have him start the paper work asap. The later he waits, the harder it's going to be.


    • #3
      I know he needs to do it, but the first attorney acted like he should wait for a few months. I say do it now too. I keep encouraging to see a family attorney deals with fathers rights. Hopefully he will, he has no rights not and is at her beck in call.
      chpt 7 ,5-2009


      • #4
        She has the legal right to give the baby her last name whatever it may be. Sorry, it is legal. However, in order to protect his paternal rights he must prove he is the father with a DNA if she debates it. Only then could he have legal rights to visitation and along with that comes financial obligation for the baby. He will have to take the necessary steps which include a lawyer.
        8-07-09-filed Chapter 7

        Life is not what challenges you face, but how you face those challenges.


        • #5
          He doesnt want to make her mad, and not let him see the baby. He cannot seem to get the real picture, that he has no rights until he get the court to step in. The first attorney was no help. I think he will soon be going to another attorney. Hopefully get the paternity done.
          chpt 7 ,5-2009


          • #6
            Unmarried fathers really do have a rough time when the mother does not cooperate. Seen it too many times.
            8-07-09-filed Chapter 7

            Life is not what challenges you face, but how you face those challenges.


            • #7
              Yup he has zero rights and she will always be the one who says my way or no way UNTIL he hires an attorney and paternity is established. It may make her mad but that is too bad. He will be her puppy until the case winds it's way through the courts. The sooner he does it, the better. The courts will establish his rights.


              • #8
                Thanks the feedback, Hopefully He will do what he has to do soon.
                chpt 7 ,5-2009


                • #9
                  There seems to me a lot more to the story. However, your nephew will have rights despite being unmarried to the mother if the child is in fact his. Get an experienced/good attorney to aide in establishing paternity. The attorney will more than likely simply follow/seek the standard non-custodial parental rights for the time being. Keep in mind, seeking rights will also lead to required financial responsibility as well, in addition to visitation rights which is typically two weekends each month and every Wednesday. An uncooperative baby momma is never an easy matter to deal with.
                  The information provided is not, and should not be considered legal advice. All information provided is only informational and should be verified by a law practioner whenever possible. When confronted with legal issues contact an experienced attorney in your state who specializes in the area of law most directly called into question by your particular situation.


                  • #10
                    Hi Gail:

                    Was this woman married to someone else when she gave birth to your nephew's child? That in itself may cause a whole passel of other issues and legal expenses. This is why Kim Kardashian is FRANTIC to be divorced before her baby arrives, if not, her baby daddy could LEGALLY be the basketball player and not the rapper.

                    If your nephew is from Florida:

                    It is clearly the law in Florida that a child born or conceived during a lawful marriage is a legitimate child of the mother and the man to whom she is married. Thus, a putative father ( A "putative father" is a man who may be a child's father, but who is not married to the child's mother on or before the date that the child is born) is generally not allowed to intervene in a dissolution of marriage proceeding to assert paternity over the objection of the husband. Likewise, he will generally not be able to successfully file an action for paternity over the objection of the husband under Ch. 742. However, it may be narrowly possible for the putative father to establish paternity even over the objection of the husband through a Ch. 742 proceeding or a declaratory judgment action, if the putative father is able to prove that he has established a relationship with the child and that the husband has been remiss in fulfilling his role as a father.

                    The laws in each state are going to differ wildly and a good attorney would really help your nephew have the chance to succeed being in his daughter's life. I wish your nephew well!! Keep us posted.
                    ~~ Filed Over Median Income Chapter 7: 12/17/2010 ~~ 341 Held: 1/12/2011 ~~ Discharged: 03/16/2011 ~~
                    Not an attorney - just an opinionated woman.


                    • #11
                      No , actually she was divorced , but had gone back to her maiden name. Not sure why, Her boys still had the married name.

                      When the baby girl was born, She put on the birth cert, was her married name. She used her maiden name at the hospital however to check in. As a family member saw a picture of bassinet at hospital and it had maiden name on it. She I guess plans to go back to married name , maybe so all have same name not sure. My nephew wants baby to have his name and it was discussed at length before the birth.

                      There is tension between them, because she has not returned the 2000 engagement ring yet. and probably has sold it. He is still paying for. And the fact that she claims the baby will not his name. So one of conditions of him seeing the baby is , to bring his sister or Mom with him. She does not want to argue with him. However last week he showed up alone and she let in see the baby.

                      The attorney He went to right after the birth said , do nothing right now just bond with the baby. Charged him 150.00. Since she is giving you access. No Judge in florida will let you take the baby for the day right now. So he visits her twice a week for 30 minutes.
                      He wants shared custody and to raise the baby.
                      chpt 7 ,5-2009


                      • #12
                        unmarried father rights

                        To nephew:
                        Easy way to more likely solve paternity. Search for one of those DNA testing labs so they can compare yours to the baby's It's a little more difficult if it's a baby girl than a boy, but you could look into it. All it takes is a buccal (inside of the cheek) swab, or even a little clip of hair. They will need your DNA too, and with the results from both of you, the lab can give you numbers on how likely the baby is your genetic child. At that time, armed with that data, you could see an attorney.

                        Don't know about the legality of it, but if you are allowed visitation, you should be able to do this within your 30 minutes without anyone seeing you. And as for the legality, my policy is that it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

                        As for a funny related story, (this was 20+ years ago and in another city and state and the names would have been changed if I had remembered any of them) :
                        I worked as a Labor & Delivery nurse for 10 years. One night we had a woman in labor. Two guys were there, taking turns to be with the mom during the labor Each of them claimed that it was his baby. They were both insisting on getting a sample of the cord blood for to take for DNA testing. It was pretty tense when I came on shift at 1900. The verbal sparring became more and more vocal, even though we nurses told them to take it down to the L&D waiting room. By around 0300, it came to fisticuffs in the hallway outside the room, security was called, then 911 and both putative fathers were dragged off to jail for assault.

                        By that time, the mother said she was sick of both of them and insisted that we throw both the cord (with the cord blood inside it, duh) and the placenta, after they had both been examined, into the red medical waste bag. Never did find out what happened, but it was pretty funny at the time.
                        Last edited by sbatman; 03-11-2013, 03:03 PM. Reason: omitted important fact


                        • #13
                          It sounds like good idea. But he was suppose to go to see the Baby saturday and she called and cancelled the visit. She insisted she will call him when she decides He can see the baby again. He says he is going to another attorney on friday. We will see what happens,
                          chpt 7 ,5-2009


                          • #14
                            Update, I cannot believe this, this girl is trying to get back with my nephew , after putting him thru a year from hell. We the family is blown away. Of course this is his decision, and we will support him. She had stopped his visits with the baby girl not sure why, then out of blue she said he could come over. Now she is bringing the baby to his Apt.

                            ( She announced she was pg and let him go to doctor with her a few times, then stopped it all. Had the Baby without calling him. Put her name on Birth records, unknown father.)

                            He had went to attorney, who said to wait another few months to take her to court to get his name on birth records. As long as she lets you see baby.
                            chpt 7 ,5-2009


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