Death of the love of my life, and may have to convert 13 to 7

[lillymarlene]

I am totally devasted. My boyfriend of 23 years passed away this morning after long multiple illnesses. We did everything for each other, lived together since '91, worked together (until I had to close the retail location & afterwards) in my small business. He helped me start through this bankruptcy, that I'm about 60% through.

Unfortunately, we had been living a good part off of his disability check. 2010 I was too busy closing my store, and then in 2011 he kept promising we would start something at a local market, but he was starting to have health problems which he kept trying to hide from me. 2012 he spent being in and out of hospitals and nursing homes.

I am just numb. I know I have to look for work, really soon or possibly my own disability I also have an illness. I have a brother, who has the last "remnant" of the family business, but he will not be able to help much, since he claims that his own financial situation is very dire. I just hadn't seriously looked into things before, since I just wanted to spend as much time with my significant other as much as possible. One way, I could sense the time was short, but I guess you are never ready for these things.

I would appreciate any advice about converting this bankruptcy to a 7, and how should I go about that. I'm in Massachusetts.

[Pjmax]

Lilymarlene, I'm sooo sorry for your loss! You must be a bundle of confused emotions. Give yourself time to grieve before making any decisions.

You'll be in my prayers.

[despritfreya]

My condolences on your loss and I agree with Pj. For now you need not concern yourself over your bk. Take time, be it a few weeks or a couple of months, to get through some of the emotions. Nothing is going to happen in your bk over that short a period of time.

Once you have your thoughts together meet with your attny to discuss your options. They may include modifying the Plan to reduce payments, converting to a Chapter 7 or, if you qualify, seeking a Chapter 13 hardship discharge. Your attny is better suited to advise you as he/she knows the specifics of your case. If you do not currently have an attny you may want to take time to consult with a few. They can pull your case up and review your situation to formulate the best course of action in these trying times.

But, for now, deal with the loss as best you can and put the bk issues off for another day.

Des.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I could not say more than pjmax or Des has said. You were blessed for many years with your love. He was sick for a long time. You do not see it now, but God has plans for you and he makes no mistakes. There is a reason for everything. Even if we cannot see it here and now.

Take what Des suggests and give yourself some grieving time. There is nothing wrong with that. The other things will come along in good order. I wish you the best, and will follow your thread. 'Hub

[lillymarlene]

I'm just so confused and devastated. Thank you for the replies.

[Pjmax]

Do you have close friends and family with you? I do know it's important to remember all the good things right now, celebrate his life and remember he's at peace.

[LadyInTheRed]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending big hugs over the wires.

Try to forget about your BK for a while. Take the time you need to grieve. Your emotional health is what is important right now.

[ValleYum]

Oh, Lilly, I am so very sorry.

As, LITR said, take time to grieve. PLEASE remember to take care of yourself during this trying time, too.

Holding you tightly in my thoughts and prayers and sending hugs your way, too.

[justbroke]

I'm sending a heartfelt prayer your way that you find some solace and comfort. It's okay to take some time and grieve. Worry about getting things in order later. If you have questions later, you can always count on us (BKForum).

[TheBajan]

Lilly... my heart just aches for you. We are all hugging you now. I am lifting you in my prayers. Do give yourself time to just grieve. Postpone any big decisions. We're here as much as we can be.

The Bajan

[AngelinaCatHub]

I'm just so confused and devastated. Thank you for the replies.

As all of us to post above this one says: IF you have no one to put a head on a shoulder, please use us as your shoulder. Keep us up to date and IF you need to vent, vent here. One of us will listen and grieve with your grief. Love in God to you. 'Hub and Mrs. C

[df04527]

My sincerest sympathies. Please, please listen to the above advice. I, too have been in your shoes, except it was a 22 yr old son. You will not only need time to grieve but you will need time to figure out how to continue to live as well.

My heart hurts for you. You will be okay even though it doesn't feel like it now. Hugs and prayers from Florida.

[AngelinaCat]

Dear Lilly.... {{{{HUGGGGSSS}}}}

[Quiznos1]

Lily, my deepest condolences for the loss of your boyfriend. I am a newbie to BK, so I can’t offer much advice, but I am familiar with the phases of grief. Loss can create such a rollercoaster ride of emotions that I would encourage you to postpone any major decisions and give yourself time filter through all your emotions and thoughts. I have found that grief counseling to be of great benefit. You can find one through a local church or individual counselor. The most important thing to remember about grief is to give your self permission to feel everything you are feeling and not to put a time limit on the grieving process. Please take care of yourself. My prayers go out to you…
Quiznos1

[keepsmiling]

Aww sweetie, so so sorry to hear of your loss.
My heartfelt condolences... do allow yourself to grieve.... take just one day at a time for a while.
May happy memories help to get you through, and may you know no more sorrow.

Do stay in touch with us and cry on our collective virtual shoulders. So much love and humanity here. We are all sending you hugs and prayers. (((((((((((((lilly))))))))))))))))))))))