Excuse me, but I think that I am in the wrong place here...

[Flamingo]

Very few people that file bankruptcy have budgeted or know how to handle money. Before someone attacks as to that statement everyone needs to look back at the years prior to leading up to their bankruptcy and they will actually see how out of control things were. Excuses were made like, "well, hey, I can always refinance and pay it off," or "I expect one heck of a raise and/or bonus this year and can pay off all these bills we racked up." Bankruptcy, especially a Chapter 13, usually puts one back into reality as to what is going on in their financial lives and I believe anyone who files bankruptcy should be put through a Chapter 13 to learn how to budget and handle money. Chapter 13 is an excellent teacher.

I stick around on here to help out as to what I have been through myself but the more I see as to some postings coming in here with people trying to hide things and get away with things, I don't think my help is actually needed as people are going to do what they want to do. I had planned on slowing down on being on here due to my job due to having to travel more but travel for all employees (as most places) has been cut off except for something absolutely necessary. Also, when we were starting to go through the process of filing and the period before of trying to cope, this site did not exist and the ones that did were controlled by trolls who hated anyone who filed bankruptcy and talked to you like you were the scum of the earth. And also gave out bad and wrong advice. I guess after being burned as I was from bad advice given on one forum from people who stated they were financial experts but were actually trolls hoping you would listen and mess up, that is probably why I stick around in here to ensure people get correct advice We are getting beyond BK and have learned how to make major changesin our lives to survive so it will not occur again and I still run into problems as to BK still being on our records (comes off in April 2009) so I stay on here to also continue to learn as to credit issues and surviving after BK.

Great post - more are needed like yours.

[Never_Again]

As much as I have enjoyed some of the company here, researching for this time of my life, and trying to help others, I think that it is maybe I am in the wrong place...

It is not that I don't enjoy helping others, because I do. However, there is a saying that I have heard some others say, and I guess that I never really understood it until recently:

"I may have been broke before, but I have NEVER been poor!"

Broke is a condition. It is a lack of money. It means that you can't pay your bills, you have no money, or something like that.

Poor, on the other hand, is a state of mind. It says that everything is against you, that there is no way to improve your situation, there is no way for "the little guy" to get ahead, "the man" just keeps me down, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer,... you know what I am saying.

I see many posts on here from people who are nervous, scared, and do not know what to do. That was probably all of us at one time here! They come here for help, and hopefully they get it. I know that I was one of those.

But, when I went into this, and filed for my bankruptcy in August, I knew that it was a temporary situation. I needed this chance to get my feet under me, and I knew that I, through my own resourcefulness, would come charging back, stronger than ever.

And I feel that I am on a good pathway for this to happen! And, as a surprise to some of you, I work in THE AUTOMOTIVE INDUSTRY! Not all of us in this industry are on the verge of starvation! Some of us (even in the domestic auto industry) are doing fine, and it is because of our own resourcefulness.

I see post after post about how to discharge my debts, and then how to "rebuild my credit." Hey, if that is what you want to do, more power to you, but rebuilding credit is not rocket science... Pay the bills on time from here on out!

Then, I see posts about how terrible everything is. Granted, there are some challenges, I agree, but if you constantly are dwelling on the fact that your situation is bad, and you can not get out of it because someone "won't let you," for whatever reason, then you become a self fulfilling prophecy! You won't succeed.

And then, it is the obsession with the FICO score. I hate to tell you this, but if you have to reduce your financial condition to a three digit number between 350 and 850, you have it all wrong! You would be much better served to monitor your net worth, income statement (money in and out each month, and the difference), and your budget (or spending plan.) No, it is not as sexy as FICO scores, and the mass of new plastic that you have been able to get after a discharge, but it is much better to look at net worth, income statements, and budgets. "But how will I rent a car?" Debit cards work fine in most instances, with some changes in how it is done. "But how will I buy a house?" With a 25% down payment, income that is in line with the payment you are making, and having it documented, and you will be just fine!

How many posts do we see on here about budgets? Very few! That is the only pathway to straightening out the mess that got most of us into this! Knowing what is coming in, what is going out, and trying to control the going out while increasing the coming in. I would love to see more people here asking about how to make a budget, tracking your income, saving money, trimming un-necessary expenses... you know, the boring stuff!

So, maybe I am in the wrong place. For me, bankruptcy was a temporary time. That time for me, is over now. I know that there are many others on here who feel the same way, and stick around to help others. I have respect for you, and I want to do the same thing. But, I definitely am not bankrupt any more! I would encourage everyone here to make bankruptcy a temporary condition, like being broke versus being poor.

I do apologize if this offends anyone, as that is not my intent. I hope that someone will be encouraged to move on, and perhaps ask how others are moving on, and learn from their experiences.

As for me, I think that I will hang out in the "Lifestyle Adjustments" area of this forum, and see if I can help move the discussion in some healthier directions.