Excuse me, but I think that I am in the wrong place here...

[Stilltheone]

As much as I have enjoyed some of the company here, researching for this time of my life, and trying to help others, I think that it is maybe I am in the wrong place...

It is not that I don't enjoy helping others, because I do. However, there is a saying that I have heard some others say, and I guess that I never really understood it until recently:

"I may have been broke before, but I have NEVER been poor!"

Broke is a condition. It is a lack of money. It means that you can't pay your bills, you have no money, or something like that.

Poor, on the other hand, is a state of mind. It says that everything is against you, that there is no way to improve your situation, there is no way for "the little guy" to get ahead, "the man" just keeps me down, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer,... you know what I am saying.

There have been many times when I have debated coming back to this forum at all, simply because I feel like I am in a better place...a different place, than when I first got here, so I know what you're saying.

Sometimes my husband will see me on this forum, roll his eyes and go "Our bankruptcy is over. Why do you still go back to that place?" and a small part of me agrees with him.

BUT, I also remember what it's like to be POOR and scared and without information...that helpless feeling. So, I stick around, hoping I can help someone NOT feel that way.

For the most part, I agree with what you stated above. I come back maybe once a week, at the very most....because my mindset isn't "poor" anymore, it isn't "broke". I'm moving on with my life. My life is NOT my bankruptcy.

Good luck to all!

[Never_Again]

Hub,

I will try to start a thread on budgeting, and hopefully the moderators will make it a sticky.

[AngelinaCatHub]

In my opinion, “Never Again” has spoken words far above the wisdom of my experiences. He/she has it right on. However our forum is a place of learning and in his belief, I think he has pegged one flaw here. We should have a ‘sticky’ for budgeting. I would hope that this poster starts one and aid those who, as I have seen, become repeaters. Only my opinion. ‘Hub

Merry Christmas

[Never_Again]

Confused...

You are very welcome! I hope that more are helped by reading what we are saying here!

[Confused33]

I have been here for a VERY short time but I feel like you that have posted in this thread have "embraced" me in a way.

Your input, advice, thoughts, stories, and anything else that you've added to the forums have brought me full circle on things. I was embarassed when I chose to join this forum but you all have made me realize that this can be a positive thing if you do it for the right reasons.

I have hope now and I feel that one day I WILL be wealthy where as before I entered this I felt eternally doomed. I had literally given up on the idea.

Thank you for what you've done.

[Flamingo]

There are two others, Divorce and bad business adventure. I think a lot of people just assume that everyone who files BK is stupid and has no concept of how to manage money. BUt I will bet medical bills is on the rise because of all the layoffs & they wont have insurance now.

You are correct - I left out "business" matters out of my posting and stuck to "personal" when I replied because it's obvious how a good business can fail and the debts mount, especially in this economy. Same with divorce but that is not as rampant as with medical situations or folks just going overboard with credit. As to your last sentence about the layoffs and no insurance, the trickle down effect from that with folks not being able to afford COBRA or be given any benefits after layoff otherwise is going to hit us all hard in the pockets more and more when these folks have to go to ER's and get seen without paying due to not being able to afford the care or start utilizing the credit cards they will not be able to pay if they cannot get back on their feet after the layoff with another decent paying job. It is bad out there and we are ALL going to be covering the fallout after it is all over. CNN reported the other night that every household in America will be paying $60,000 more each over the years to come just to cover the FIRST bailout already districuted to the banks. That is just the tip of the iceburg of what is yet to come.

Just as in any other matter or situation, there are folks who file BK who have no idea how to handle credit/finances that make it harder for folks who have to file BK for good, valid reasons, so the stigma is applied to everyone no matter what your situation. This ecomony is bringing out all the folks burdened with credit card debt/mortgages/loans who finally realized what they've done and are now "stuck" with having to file and/or lose their home. There are going to be a lot of hard lessons learned over the next few years and during that time I don't think the "stigma" of having to file will change much as most folks who did not burden themselves with debt or bad mortgages will still view people filing BK as allowing themselves to get in that position due to their own lack of financial knowledge and bad financial handlings.

[Bandit]

No No No *****wagging finger*******

Don't you be saying good-bye At the least we can run our own threads!

You need some of your EGGNOG!! This is hard and changing is difficult and to re-live with others is too. You have helped over 2000 people. I say *** clink***

You are so right. I need to stay in the happy threads...but this place does not make me happy any more.

Vroom Vroom Vrrroooooooooom & drive our rocking American f-bodies off into the sunset.

I found this really cool christmas game & I thought of you because I know how much you enjoy puzzles. I cant remember now where it was.

[Bandit]

Debt causes bankruptcy; in most cases, if the debt was not present when the job loss or other event occurred, one would probably not even consider having to file bankruptcy. The only exception to this is a medical emergency where there is not enough insurance coverage, no insurance coverage or savings to pay enormous bills. In fact, according to past articles I have read (i.e., Newsweek, Time) and other postings on here in the BK news forum, major medical situations with resulting enormous bills beyond one's ability to pay encompass over 50% of filings.

There are two others, Divorce and bad business adventure. I think a lot of people just assume that everyone who files BK is stupid and has no concept of how to manage money. BUt I will bet medical bills is on the rise because of all the layoffs & they wont have insurance now.

[Flamingo]

I think that is true for about half of the filers but there is another half that knows how to manage money very well and circumstances changed that put them into a position within seconds that would make them fall. There is a poll around here but I cannot recall the title.

Debt causes bankruptcy; in most cases, if the debt was not present when the job loss or other event occurred, one would probably not even consider having to file bankruptcy. The only exception to this is a medical emergency where there is not enough insurance coverage, no insurance coverage or savings to pay enormous bills. In fact, according to past articles I have read (i.e., Newsweek, Time) and other postings on here in the BK news forum, major medical situations with resulting enormous bills beyond one's ability to pay encompass over 50% of filings.

[BROKENN]

No No No *****wagging finger*******

Don't you be saying good-bye At the least we can run our own threads!

You need some of your EGGNOG!! This is hard and changing is difficult and to re-live with others is too. You have helped over 2000 people. I say *** clink***

[Bandit]

This too is how I feel. I made it through "the process" because of this forum and quite successfully than if I hadn't studied and asked a bizzilion questions.

And now, I am still going through it post, as Flamingo said, as it is a lifestyle change that will be evolving and I do want to share those too.

I think the combined life experiences are impressive; and from financing, budgeting, credit, business, marriage, children, etc.. we have a lot to pass on.

The small percentage that want to abuse this get shut down pretty quickly and I do not fret as I see many intelligent people see right through it immediately.

Me too.

I think I learned more by studying case law, attorney websites & going through the brief readings in the FAQ than having actual conversations as amateur as I am.

While at the same time I have learned that all forums are of the same personalities, this one will wear you down with a lot of negativity when you post often due to the nature of the circumstances.

But what you get when it is over is more than what you get at other forums. For the most part anyway.

You have been awesome, BROKENN.

[BROKENN]

After all the tears and suffering, after being at one of the lowest places in your life you will ever be, after sharing the grief with others who know what it is to be shipwrecked & beaten, when the people return for a moment of gratitude they always have something good & positive to say about this place.

This too is how I feel. I made it through "the process" because of this forum and quite successfully than if I hadn't studied and asked a bizzilion questions.

And now, I am still going through it post, as Flamingo said, as it is a lifestyle change that will be evolving and I do want to share those too.

I think the combined life experiences are impressive; and from financing, budgeting, credit, business, marriage, children, etc.. we have a lot to pass on.

The small percentage that want to abuse this get shut down pretty quickly and I do not fret as I see many intelligent people see right through it immediately.

[LeighRyan]

Excuse me, but I think that I am in the wrong place here

I too have suffered through bankrupcty and have emerged in a far better place. I am writing a book about my experience to try and help and encourgae others who find themselves in same situation. If you would like to share your thoughts on how bankruptcy has benefited your life, I would love to include them in my book.

[Bandit]

Very few people that file bankruptcy have budgeted or know how to handle money. Before someone attacks as to that statement everyone needs to look back at the years prior to leading up to their bankruptcy and they will actually see how out of control things were.

I think that is true for about half of the filers but there is another half that knows how to manage money very well and circumstances changed that put them into a position within seconds that would make them fall. There is a poll around here but I cannot recall the title.

[Bandit]

Everyone gets through this in different ways and not everyone lived above their means to get into this mess. By the time most people get back on their feet, they have already learned along the way and made the adjustments they need to make and you never see them again anyway.

I will admit this forum is not a very positive or joyous place and if I were looking for fun & celebrations, I would certainly not join a BK forum. With all the negativitiy involved if I had read that at the intial agreement , I would have been very reluctant to join thinking I need an adjustment when there was no adjustment in my lifestyle (speaking of finances) that needed to change.

The forum title is a bit deceptive as some of us learned that things happen out of our control that make it impossible to prevent BK or a future BK. What makes this forum unique in an opportunity is, there are a handful of people who stick around long after the smoke has cleared and way after the fire trucks leave to embrace others and to be constructive at the same time. A handful of people who learned that there are many areas of life in which people can help others. A handful of people who volunteer their time in helping those who are burdened because there is no way in hell the moderators alone could keep up with the flow of traffic.

and then of course there are some like myself who just like to chit chat about everything under the sun that never amounts to a hill of burnt beans
But! I get so much insight in many other areas of life. That is life way before BK and life way after BK because we all shared a common hurting and miserable time, and in some strange way, that understanding bonds most people who stay here.

After all the tears and suffering, after being at one of the lowest places in your life you will ever be, after sharing the grief with others who know what it is to be shipwrecked & beaten, when the people return for a moment of gratitude they always have something good & positive to say about this place.

It reminds me of the parable of 10 people who were healed and only one returned to say thank you. Here, the percentage who feel gratitude is far greater than 10%