Divorce and Ch 13 cont'd....what would you do?

[jmac]

I got seperated a month after i filed for a ch13, would of done a divorce but treid being a nice guy and keping my sick ex with medical insurance. I didnt want the divorce but in her drug filled mind she did at that time(regreted later)but that is another story. So i filed and put my part of the home up for surrender in the 13. So her it is 3 years later, she has lived there payment free for a year then moved out, her kid for a year payment free and now her friends living there for free, B OF A has no intentions of forclosing on it while Im in a 13 so she will get to live there another 2 years for free and i will probably get a major tax screwing after being in a ch13 for 60 months. I have tried to get her to short sale it but she just cant get past the greed of using it until the end, even though she will get screwed on taxes on it also. I learned quite a few life lessons on this long journey, hopefully it will all work out. If i could do it all over again i would of done the divorce and made her sale the home, instead of worrying about her insurance and a place to live.

[brtb]

I'm also starting to get concerned about finding a place to rent if I need to. This is all so stressful. Meanwhile, our current bankruptcy payments are coming out of my paycheck and I'm paying all the household bills. My soon-to-be ex is employed (makes more money than I do) and he's off doing who knows what with his girlfriend, but still comes and goes from the house as he pleases and not contributing a dime to anything.

[AngelinaCat]

I really can add nothing to this discussion, as I have no first-hand experience with mortgage refinancing other than years ago, well before our BK situation.

I do add my heartfelt wish that you study, learn, read, and study some more, before you make any final decision. Think everything through before you start. Sometimes, a decision ill-thought out, leads to unintended consequences--and more heart-ache and harm.

{{{{HUGGSS}}}} from someone going through the grief process. Please let us know in the coming weeks, how things go.

Please make no decisions until WELL after the first of the year....

[brtb]

FYI and for whatever it's worth, the HARP 2.0 refi program will allow for ex-spouses to be removed from the mortgage without re-verifying the DTI ratio. (I've been refi-ing my rental properties to get my Ex off them).

But I'm not sure about whether this will work in a C-13.

I was researching HARP, but the way I understood it was that your current loan has to be an FHA loan in order to refinance. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

[brtb]

That's a very strong argument towards keeping the house. Talk to a very experienced mortgage broker about refinancing.

Is there so much equity in the house that keeping it in a Chap 7 isn't an option?

I was anxiously waiting your response, Lady In Red.

Yes we have about $50K equity in the house right now. Virginia's Homestead Exemption is only $5K. That's why I really want to stay in this house and finish out my Ch. 13.

[Slingerland]

FYI and for whatever it's worth, the HARP 2.0 refi program will allow for ex-spouses to be removed from the mortgage without re-verifying the DTI ratio. (I've been refi-ing my rental properties to get my Ex off them).

But I'm not sure about whether this will work in a C-13.

[LadyInTheRed]

But, rent where I live in a safe, nice neighborhood for a one bedroom one bath (Northern VA) would be about the same if not more than what my mortgage payment is.

That's a very strong argument towards keeping the house. Talk to a very experienced mortgage broker about refinancing.

Is there so much equity in the house that keeping it in a Chap 7 isn't an option?

[brtb]

I don't think I can get him off the deed without a refi. It's still early. The Property Settlement Agreement still hasn't been sent to him, but still keeping my fingers crossed. Someone has to have had to refi while in Chapter 13. Anyone? Again, I think FHA could be an option, but not 100% sure about that.

[ValleYum]

I dont know about refi, but the best thing is keep it. You better not let that cheating sob have it and dont lose it!!!

Without a refi she remains financially tied to him, though. Blech.

This is a tough decision.

[dmc-2008]

I dont know about refi, but the best thing is keep it. You better not let that cheating sob have it and dont lose it!!!

[brtb]

Just wanted to add one more thing. Potential problem of keeping the house would be trying to refinance it in my name only while in Ch. 13. Has anyone been successful in doing that recently?

I don't know if this is true or not, but in my research I'm seeing that it might be possible to refinance a conventional loan to a FHA loan.

[brtb]

Wow, so many great answers, and now I'm more confused then ever. Background: Married 16 years, no kids, he's cheating, and I'm done.

I have been leaning towards option one. Mainly because once this is all over at least I'll have a property. If I get rid of this house will I ever be able to buy again? The house does need a little work (i.e. new a/c unit, fresh paint, cosmetic stuff). I've also been thinking about the tax implications. When I go to Single status next year and I have no deductions I think it will be painful. Am I right or not?

Option 2 is also so tempting. Truly a fresh start. But, rent where I live in a safe, nice neighborhood for a one bedroom one bath (Northern VA) would be about the same if not more than what my mortgage payment is.

I'm torn...

[filingin08]

If you have kids together and if you can afford, my choice would be Option 1. Otherwise, I'd likely chose a complete fresh start over equity.

[dmc-2008]

Yes! A super makeover, done on the cheap! ;-). You can make this work

[ValleYum]

I like valley's idea, but I think u are invested in the house and don't see another property in your future! I would stick with keep the house ditch the dude!!!!

If she stays she needs to budget $$ for a totally AWESOME master bedroom do-over (paint, bedding, furniture rearrangement)!!! Anf change the locks & garage door codes! LOLOL