Keeping a computer in Ch. 7? Friend of mine's vehicle repo'd by unsecured creditor!

[jessegirl]

hey DB - I know where you are coming from. But, your wife needs to stop acting like a child. You need to put your foot down and make a appointment with an attorney and let her hear it for herself. Sometimes, if it comes from someone else the person will listen. Who pays the bills in the house? If it is you, then make her pay for them, let her write out the checks and see where all the money is going to and let her try to rob peter to pay paul. Maybe she needs to see it with her own eyes. I really feel sorry for you. It seems like the burden is left on you and the wife goes about her business as she pleases. Make the appointment for a free consultation today. Goodluck.

[debtmonster]

Where can I get this help free of charge as I do not have money to pay for it professionally?

Nothing will ever change. I need to get rid of credit altogether for the rest of my life. I am not a good candidate to have credit. Maybe other people are, but I am not.

[Flamingo]

Before we were not living beyond our means. Now we are since our income is almost cut in half. I have talked to people who have filed BK and they told me it was no big deal. (Big Snip....) My wife is coming home tomorrow. I'm sure she'll do what she always does... every single time I bring up the BK subject, she tells me to shut up and stop bothering her about it. I told her that she cannot keep ignoring this. I told her wait until April of 2009 when we file our taxes and I have not paid any of the vouchers all in 2008 because I've been paying creditors instead. If she thinks it's bad now... wait until it's time to deal with the IRS and get slammed with penalties and fees that you can't make go away. It will make doing a BK look like a picnic.

DebtMonster...You are rehashing exactly what you posted this past spring on here. Many posters tried to help you out the same way and you were at your wits end at that time also. Our advice has not changed even though the posters names responding to you may have changed. You have been overspending for years and you indirectly state that in your first sentence above advising you had the income to pay the high bills when you had the money. When the money ended you still had the high bills. That is living beyond your means because you did not have a safety cushion on hand in the event of job loss. If you lost jobs and had no debt or low debt, you would be fine. I know you don't want to hear that but that is exactly what you and your wife have done and put yourselves in the position you are now and you don't know what to do because your wife is bucking you all the way and still wants that lifestyle.

Major change is extremely difficult. You need solid professional help and advice as to your finances, BK and your marriage. As I remember stating to you back in February or March, none of us can physically come there and hold your hand to get that done for you...we can only advise you what to do. I am sorry you are going through all you are going through but consistent complaining about the same item will get you nowhere. All you have to do when your wife gets home is sit her down, explain what needs to be done and if she doesn't cooperate you will have to do it yourself, and advise her that the marriage is shot if she cannot cooperate with you as her spouse as she is as much as fault as you are. It's just that bad.

I wish you well in your endeavors because from your past postings earlier this year and what you are advising, BK is your only option with the huge amount of debt you and your wife have accumulated. Once you are free of that burden and can change your lifestyles so it doesn't occur again, things will get better.

[debtmonster]

Where? I'd like to do this.

Thanks,
ep

I didn't know about it until I went to the dealership to get my BMW serviced and when an ex-coworker told me about it.

Try Fields BMW in Orlando, FL and ask for a sales person. I think they limit the car to being like 3 years old. A 3 year old BMW takes a major beating in depreciation, so you'd get a heck of a deal. I think all of the BMW dealers can offer this. I don't think you need perfect credit, but you may need a decent income level to qualify.

[epiphany]

You can get a 2 or 3 year old BMW with .9 or 1.9% financing and get a 100,000 mile warranty to boot

Where? I'd like to do this.

Thanks,
ep

[debtmonster]

Before we were not living beyond our means. Now we are since our income is almost cut in half. I have talked to people who have filed BK and they told me it was no big deal.

I don't know why the banks don't offer 1.9% financing on used cars instead of new ones. BMW is the only one I know that does this. You can get a 2 or 3 year old BMW with .9 or 1.9% financing and get a 100,000 mile warranty to boot. Why can't GM, Toyota, Honda and all of the others do this instead of punishing us with 12 to 18% used car interest rates?

The way to buy a used car is from a person who was ready to trade it in and buy it for the amount the dealer was going to give them. The used car dealers typically get $5k in profit when you buy a used car. I can't see paying that kind of money and I don't have $16k cash to buy it for cash.

As of right now, my father-in-law has that Honda Oddsey van. If we had the cash, I bet I could buy it for $16,000 to $17,000 from him. I see the same van selling for like $23,000 on the used lots. I'm not a big fan of mini-van's, but if we did the BK, I would love to take the payments over. That vehicle would be very practical for us, plus it would do him the favor of getting rid of it. He can no longer afford the payments since my wife's mom passed away a couple weeks ago.

My wife is coming home tomorrow. I'm sure she'll do what she always does... every single time I bring up the BK subject, she tells me to shut up and stop bothering her about it. I told her that she cannot keep ignoring this. I told her wait until April of 2009 when we file our taxes and I have not paid any of the vouchers all in 2008 because I've been paying creditors instead. If she thinks it's bad now... wait until it's time to deal with the IRS and get slammed with penalties and fees that you can't make go away. It will make doing a BK look like a picnic.

[gymbo]

Hi.

About your wife... It's a process. She'll get there. She'll see where you are coming from eventually.

I don't think you are a troll. But you said something along the lines of "We'll just file BK and then buy another 40k car." and you also said "filing BK is no big deal!"

Based on what you have said, you cannot afford a $40k car. And you don't need it. There are many, many, reliable cars available for much less than $40k. I have a dog and a daughter and the priciest vehicle we have ever owned is $16k.

And in most people's opinion's (even here), filing BK is a VERY big deal. If you are this far in debt, it is most likely your best option, but it is still a big deal.

You have a lot going on in your past (eviction, repo) that will work against you whether you file or not. But I think (and please do not get upset) you AND your wife BOTH need to realize you are living beyond your means... not always, maybe, but you are now Life sucks that way.

To be clear, I am an expert in spending more than I make... I can justify any purchase with reasons why I deserve it... That's why I am in this boat too. So I am not trying to judge... but if your wife does come around and you file BK and all goes swimmingly... then you run out and spend spend spend... well... then you really will have nothing.

Sorry to be a downer.

[debtmonster]

She's not spending any more. All of the bills we have are from old debts mostly after we moved into our new home. This was our first home and we started with nothing.

I showed her the Excel spread sheet. She seems to thinking that going back to an $8/hr. job will fix everything. It just sucks that it costs an absolute fortune in transportation to get that income. She needs to go to college and get a degree so she can get a $40-60k job in the future. These problems we're going through now will be nothing.

Thanks for your feedback.

[lrprn]

Have you tried sitting down with her to show her the income vs. expenses written down on paper in a straightforward way? Sometimes seeing the cold, hard figures that come up so very red every month will wake spouses up.

Although this won't be easy for you to hear, you have been finding lots of reasons why everything we suggest won't work. That's because you truly don't want to do the hard thing that I think you know must be done here - cut your wife's money off and rein in her spending forcibly by cutting up the credit cards, giving her a weekly spending budget, and making her stick to it. If she spends her money unwisely, then it's gone until the next money outlay. If she leaves you over this, then you'll know she loves your money more than she loves you.

That's the only solution here. You two are swirling the financial and marriage drain. Anything short of drastic action is just rearranging the deck chairs on your self-built Titanic.

I wish I didn't need to be so blunt, but you are sincerely asking for help and advice. Here's mine - you need to wake up and stop enabling your wife to push you both into financial ruin and allowing the useless arguing that is destroying your marriage to take the place of positive action. You have the power to change this, but you have to make the hard decision to take the hard path to make it happen.

We are here for you, DM, although it may not feel like it right now. Please keep coming back, but realize that we aren't miracle workers, just a bunch of realistic people who have each had to come to grips with tough financial situations and wake up to reality in our own ways.

[debtmonster]

If you are not a troll, then who posted all the foul profanity filled posts under your user name that were removed from the forum a few months back?

ep

I was never removed for anything for any foul language. You have me confused with somebody else. Trolls post things to get people riled up over nothing. I am here posting my situations. I don't see how that is being a troll. I am posting facts and figures. Trolls just post messages insulting people all day. I am not here doing that.

[epiphany]

A troll!??! Are you nuts?!?!

If you are not a troll, then who posted all the foul profanity filled posts under your user name that were removed from the forum a few months back?

ep

[debtmonster]

At first, I thought that you might be a troll, but the talk of suicide makes me think otherwise...

Suicidal thoughts are very real, and certainly money trouble can aggravate that. Get to the doctor for some help, and bring the wife with you. Does she know about that part of your life? If not, time to tell her. If she does, and still is thinking of herself, then maybe time to leave. Nurse is exactly right... money and things are temporary.

Best wishes to you, and take care.

A troll!??! Are you nuts?!?! I am sitting here giving you all of the facts about my life with personal details about my income and vehicles driven and I am a troll?!?! I am very offended at you even thinking that. What would I have to gain?

Since I have nobody else to talk to about this, that is why I have come here. I was making semi-decent money in the past and had financial problems then... now that money has been cut in half and a world of problems is now coming upon me.

When I did a spreadsheet of current bills... we came up with about $226,000 in current debt (not including the repo's and other charge-offs from the past.) Out of that $226,000, $140,000 of that is owed to my mortgage.

If I add the repo's and other credit cards defaulted on from the past, I can easily top $100,000 in debt that we would be cleaning off in a Chapter 7.

I need to come up with a list to post on here for all to see to get your opinions. I think everyone here should do that. Post all of the items in detail. It helps people contemplating bankruptcy compare to the real world.

[Never_Again]

At first, I thought that you might be a troll, but the talk of suicide makes me think otherwise...

Suicidal thoughts are very real, and certainly money trouble can aggravate that. Get to the doctor for some help, and bring the wife with you. Does she know about that part of your life? If not, time to tell her. If she does, and still is thinking of herself, then maybe time to leave. Nurse is exactly right... money and things are temporary.

Best wishes to you, and take care.

[debtmonster]

If you are really feeling that down, please find someone to talk too. If you can't locate a hotline or counselor in your area, you local hospital can help you. This is only money and stuff. It is all temporary in the grand scheme of things.

Please convey that to my wife. For some reason the light bulb is not going on in her head.

I am still waiting to hear back from the attorney to see if he will take my case.

[arkienurse]

My parents are divorced. I spoke with both of them. My mother has not had a job for over a year. My father told me that he's made about $7,000 this year. I've talked to everyone about it and they all say the same thing... "Give it all back and go bankrupt."

I am all for it, but I cannot file if my wife won't meet the attorney and sign the papers. I showed you my incomes. I make over the median income. For Florida, a married couple cannot earn over $50,000/yr. to pass the means test. That's $4166/mo.

Since January until now, we had many months where we were way over that amount. What do we do? Then my December bonus will mess it all up. I don't know what else to do. I am dieing to go bankrupt. If my wife won't come to her senses, I may have to end up divorcing her and go bankrupt on my own. Then I'll be homeless and without a vehicle. I am thinking about suicide or leaving the country.

If you are really feeling that down, please find someone to talk too. If you can't locate a hotline or counselor in your area, you local hospital can help you. This is only money and stuff. It is all temporary in the grand scheme of things.