The lady said: "No, we don't. I can give you a good deal today though, if you make a payment now. We will get rid of your late payment fees, if you agree to pay $60 a month for the next three months."
Me: "Uhh, lady, the minimum payment before was only $35. If I can't make that payment, what in the world makes you think I can afford $60 a month?"
Juniper: "Yes sir, well, we would be removing the late fees on the account. If you will provide me with your checking account and routing number, I will get this set up for you today."
Me: "I don't have the money to give you."
Juniper: "Well, can you borrow it from someone? Or sell some things? This is a great deal, and will eliminate your late fees!"
Me: "Look, I don't have anything to sell. I could try to get a loan from someone I know. What's the address I would need to send the payment to?" (I just wanted her off my back at this point, figured I could make them stop calling for a few weeks if I told them I would *try* to send in a payment)
Juniper: "Yes sir, the address is: <address>. Now, make sure you mail the payment early, it needs to be here by the 30th or we will not remove your fees"
"Okay. Bye."
Turned to my wife and said: "Well, they aren't going to get paid! They want almost double the payment for the next three months..."
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