I'm so scared and so ashamed

[UpaCreekinCA]

i blame citibank and chase ........ i am actually a pretty sharp guy . Seriously, to each their own. They say hind-sight is 20/20 for a reason. Probably just about everyone on this forum would have done things differently if they knew what was ahead for them. You make the best choices you can at the time and chalk everything else up to life long learning. If the banks were willing to work with people a little more and the job market wasn't crap, BKs wouldn't be up 30% this year and 20% last year.

[BKDebby]

Panacea, do not be ashamed. I am just like you, but I'm single with no kids, and I used my cc too much for silly things. Since October 2008 I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul, so to speak, since my health insurance skyrocketed so that was essentially a cut in my income. I had been living so close to the edge, a big increase in my premiums sent me over the edge.

I still managed to pay my cc's up until June (I even had a credit score of 780) when my old car bit the dust and I had to get a new one. The new car payment really put me in the spot where I will have to file next month (I retained an attorney in June 5 days after I bought my new car).

I was so ashamed it was hard for me to make a phone call to set up an appointment with an attorney.

The kind people here told me to not feel ashamed, it was purely a business decision. I am finally able to get some sleep at night instead of worrying about making my cc payments and where the money was coming from.

My only worry will be my 341 hearing! After that, it's smooth sailing and a fresh start for a new life free of cc debt.

What made me come to terms is the new info they put on the cc statements. My Discovercard would have taken me 40 years to pay off if I paid the minimum each month. At my age, I would have never seen the day it was paid off.

[joh]

I've been reading these posts. I would LOVE to file for BK and rid myself of this terribloe burden we are under after an income cut and job loss. Our attorney told us if we file for a Chapter 7, it is a possibility that a sherfiff would come to my door and tag anything of value- a toaster, couch, TV. We do not have anything that is worth much (except to us) and is this true? He said they will tag anything they think they can get a dollar for

That the is the most foolish thing i've heard. Get a differant attorney

[backtoschool]

I've been reading these posts. I would LOVE to file for BK and rid myself of this terribloe burden we are under after an income cut and job loss. Our attorney told us if we file for a Chapter 7, it is a possibility that a sherfiff would come to my door and tag anything of value- a toaster, couch, TV. We do not have anything that is worth much (except to us) and is this true? He said they will tag anything they think they can get a dollar for

That is absolutely untrue. I am surprised he is trying to scare you like that! Definitely do NOT go to that attorney if you file.

You are allowed exemptions for household goods, car, home equity, etc. The exemptions vary by state but they will cover your household goods in most cases.

[daglo]

I've been reading these posts. I would LOVE to file for BK and rid myself of this terribloe burden we are under after an income cut and job loss. Our attorney told us if we file for a Chapter 7, it is a possibility that a sherfiff would come to my door and tag anything of value- a toaster, couch, TV. We do not have anything that is worth much (except to us) and is this true? He said they will tag anything they think they can get a dollar for

[IBroke]

As long as there are CEOs in this country who bankrupt companies AND collect a multi-million $$ bonus for their "work".....

NOPE, no need to feel ashamed..

[Freddy03]

Don't be ashamed. I know it's easier said than done but I was making myself sick over credit card debt and now I'm kicking myself of not deciding sooner to file.

After you meet with your attorney it will get better. Just set a plan and follow thru with it.

The people who post on this board have been great!

[frogger]

Hello and welcome to the club!

Rest assured, you're not the only one here that feels like: (pick one or more)

Stupid
Failure
Idiot
Looser
Disappointment
Broke
And the list goes on.......

We've all been there, we've all felt those emotions.

If you can, bring your family in the loop. If not, find someone that you can trust to talk to.

Don't try to bear this burden alone.

We're all here to help too. Good luck.

[drowning123]

Is it 30,000 people per day that file? Something like that? Things will be alright Pan.

[ccsjoe]

Hi panacea, glad you are feeling a little more at ease. All of us here are going through some very challenging times making very difficult decisions. First and foremost, you need a clear head, these are business decisions, not emotional. You need to understand whether some truly makes sense on paper or not.

Now, as to the house question, there are lots of threads in the foreclosure heading that talk about loan mods while in bk. Start there. Hopefully it will give you some direction.

Just take it easy, don't be ashamed, and be objective.

[Panacea]

Thanks guys. I actually feel a bit better, and do feel as if I'm in good company!!!

I just might think about giving up the house. Has anyone ever tried to keep the house, AND had them do a loan modification too? I mean would the mortgage company be willing to work something out then, or is it just pay what you owe or let it go? Sorry, I guess these are questions for the lawyer...

[drowning123]

Thanks for the replies! I know I'm too emotional and have to calm down. I'm trying. If I give up the house and car, I don't have anything. Nowhere to go. Nothing to drive. I'm sorry, I'm on my own with this...haven't told anyone in the family. I keep thinking there is a way out (been doing that for about 2 years now but kept convincing myself it wasn't that bad) and I finally realized this weekend there isn't.

Well, guess what Panacea? I'm in the exact situation as you. I have no excuse. I didn't lose my job. I don't have any medical bills. My problem was my own stupidity. I spent money I didn't have. I'm a single mom as well, with one child and two elderly parents who have no income. Talk about responsibility. I have nowhere to go either, but I'm giving up my house and maybe the car. Someone, somewhere will rent me an apartment. I have a little time. The bank hasn't kicked me out of the house yet. It happens. We make good decisions and we make bad decisions. It's what we learn from these decisions that's important. I've learned my lesson. I won't say this will never happen again, but I'll try my darnest to not let it happen again. I filed for bankruptcy on August 20. My 341 meeting is on 9/23. It's scary, but I see the silver lining. No more stress. Your debt is almost a mirror image of mine. Just file and stop worrying yourself. This will make you sick. As long as you have your health, you can make things right. Can't do it from a hospital bed. Right? How else will you get rid of your debt? You can't pay all of that off, right?

[brokejoker]

You live, you learn! If the house if underwater, find a rental. You could stay in your house and instead of paying the mortgage, sock those payments away for the down payment on a nice rental house or apartment. Heck, someone else cutting the grass and paying the repair bills isn't the worst thing on the planet! Keep your car if you can exempt it.

If you came out of this with just your car payment, rent, and household bills imagine how far ahead in the game you are than anyone else! Give it three years and you'll have your car paid off and hopefully a nice savings account to help with a down payment on a home you're not upside down in without an interest only mortgage.

[backtoschool]

Thanks for the replies! I know I'm too emotional and have to calm down. I'm trying. If I give up the house and car, I don't have anything. Nowhere to go. Nothing to drive. I'm sorry, I'm on my own with this...haven't told anyone in the family. I keep thinking there is a way out (been doing that for about 2 years now but kept convincing myself it wasn't that bad) and I finally realized this weekend there isn't.

There is no reason to assume you will have to give up anything that you don't want to give up, although a house you can't afford that you are way underwater with, is not something you may end up wanting to keep.

As long as your car payment is in reason and you can afford it, you can reaffirm the car.

If you decide to give up the house, you are not going to be on the street, you will be able to rent a nice place a buy again in 3 years if you want to.

[tobee43]

i think all of us have been scared and ashamed at one point during this process.

don't be so hard on yourself. i know that is difficult right now...

but LOOK...you are in GREAT company!!!! LOL!!

it will be ok...promise...just one would of advise....

if and when you go on wed. and you don't feel absolutely confident and wonderful about this atty...go see MORE....interview as many as need be to feel comfortable with the way he or she will handle your situation.

many times it's difficult to tell on a first meeting, but you can get an idea of how comfortable you may feel with this person, how knowledgable them are etc......how is their case load..you do not want a BK mill....