30 days late, calling at Husbands work!!!

[whatamess]

Discover card is 30 days late, and they are calling my husbands work. Since my husband is on the road all day he isnt usually there to take the calls. He is so mad, and embarresed.
He told them not to call anymore but they said if I dont talk to them soon here at home and work out a plan they will call again.
Should I talk to them???? My husband could get fired.
WAM

[DivorceRuinedMe]

Do you have a lawyer that you could field calls through for a bit? Even if you haven't filed yet or don't plan to file for awhile, it may make the calls stop a little.

[tofargone]

Unfortunatly you only have a couple of options. There is the legal way to write them a letter to state that they can only contact you at home or via mail...yada yada yada. Good luck getting that to work, I tried it and it was more or less laughed off. The other depending on when you are going to file is to take the brunt of it and answer it or call them from home. If you don't have an attorney or are not filling for a while you can usually deter them for a while by talking to them, ( just be aware that they will use your words against you so you need to be careful ) though most attorneys won't recommend it.

The best thing I can think of is talk to your attorney ( if you have one ) and see what he/she recommends.

[whatamess]

well,

They called me again after I talked to my husband. I just gave them my attorneys phone number and address. She kept asking all sorts of qustions about if we were filing, when, what chapter, his address, why we were filing, and why couldnt I just pay a little bit pretty much. I tried to dodge questions as much as possible, I was getting pretty upset. My husband was so mad and angry, and making my life miserable already.
UGH!!
WAM

[SinkingFast]

This is probably THE most stressful and depressing time you're gonna go thru since making the decision to file.

Send Discover a Cease and Desist Letter specifically instructing them not to call Hubby at work. Send it Registered, return receipt, USPS mail. Make them sign to get the letter so you have proof that they did, indeed, receive your instructions.

Then look forward to when you do file and that phone goes silent.

Maybe get out of the house and take a walk. Work in the yard. Whatever. Just away from the phone so you don't hear it ringing. Let the Collectors listen to your answering machine and talk to thin air.

[CindyLou]

I faxed my letters immediatly after a call came. I asked them for a contact fax number, and then faxed the letters. The calls stopped for me. no problem.

[ilovemycaitybug]

I faxed my letters immediatly after a call came. I asked them for a contact fax number, and then faxed the letters. The calls stopped for me. no problem.

Awesome idea, cindylynn!

Discover is the only one who actually had a local attorney and served me papers. They are not one to mess with. They served me papers AFTER I had told them I had retained an attorney (hadn't filed yet, took a few months to actually file). Let your attorney talk with them. When you send the fax or certified letter, I would also note your attorney's name, phone number, and address. My attorney told me as soon as he was retained he would take the calls... yours may do the same!

[Blue_Ray]

The best tip I got on here when they start calling is let MR.Answer machine do the job. Oh, and just press the delete button the the machine and enjoy the rest of your day.

[Runnin on empty]

I'm not so much worried about them calling the house, I'm more worried about them calling the wife or I at work. We'll be speaking with the lawyer next week, and I'm sure we will be retaining him, so I'm hoping all calls will start at home, we can tell them we've retained a lawyer, and the calls can get diverted to his office, but I'm still worried.

I don't think it would jeopardize my employment per se, but it would most surely be looked down upon by "the powers that be". At the end of the day as long as I still have a job that is what is most important, but I'd really hate to have co-workers find out this way. I'm sure most would be sympathetic, but there are some that won't and they are quite vocal and gossipy people.

Oh well, it isn't like I have a choice at this point. BK is a mathematical certainty.

[Liaah]

Discover has just recently started calling my husband at work. He told them he could not receive phone calls at work and gave them his cell. They called his cell today and he told them we are filing BK soon. He said she was actually pretty nice, and just said OK, I will make a note of it. She didn't ask for $ after he said we were filing. This is probably just the calm before the storm. I guess we will see. He is off to work now and he told her not to call him at work anymore today.

We are about 3 months late at this point. I would like to wait until Sept to file due to $, but I don't know if we can hold them all off until then.

Goodluck!

[Runnin on empty]

Well, we're right about at a week overdue on all of our unsecured debts. Every time the phone rings at work and home, my heart skips a beat, I keep thinking it'll be a creditor. We've never missed a payment before, and it's scaring the living bejesus out of me. I know in the long run it'll be for the best, but I'm still terrified. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it if they call me at work.

[lrprn]

The prime reasons creditor and collections do phone harassment are the very emotions you are describing - fear, shame, and guilt. Each are powerful human motivators and our creditors play on these intense emotions of ours to convince us to pay up just to stop the repeated flooding of our nervous systems all that adrenaline!

Do everything you can to take your emotions out of this. Bankruptcy is a straightforward financial decision. We've all had those awful feelings you are having now - they are surviveable if you can get into the right frame of mind.

One thing that helped me feel more in control as the calls were skyrocketing (we didn't file for six months after stopping payments to non-secureds) was keeping a record of everyone who called and when. Gave me something to focus on rather than my fear and shame they were calling. Eventually I realized that to them it's just a job. No matter what they say, they truly don't care about us or our personal problems. If they are indifferent, then I needed to learn to be indifferent too. Once I did that, then my nervous system settled down - we had a plan and were carrying it out. (And the blessed silece after filing was beyond wonderful!)

Keep your eye on the prize - a fresh financial start. Remember we're here for venting or hand-holding on the tough days, and sharing the good news on better days. Hang in there - you aren't alone!

[Runnin on empty]

We have to wait at least 90 days, I'm having doubts about if I'll be able to hold out.

I don't really mind the calls at home so much, we can screen them there, but I can't do that at work. And to tell the truth, I'm only worried about one of my immediate co-workers. The rest of them are understanding, but this one is not only very snooty, but a gossiping nag as well. At the end of the day I really could care less what people think about me, I just don't wish this to reflect badly over my employment. I work somewhere that image is everything, and a chink in the armor would definitely be poo-pooed.I guess this is my pennance.

As you said, eye on the prize...eye on the prize...

[HenriettaHen]

Runnin' - It's none of their business. Repeat after me - IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

Besides, all they know is that you have a creditor calling you - they don't have any idea of anything else happening. Hold your head high and proceed as planned.

You're dealing with it head-on, and being broke is not a crime.

Unfortunately, there are some authoritarian types who seem to feel it is their personal mission to make one feel that way.

Just smile engagingly and let them think what they bloody well want.

They will anyway.

[Logan]

Running,

I'm in the same boat as you, just a week behind.

Logan