Who in their right mind thought i could handle all this debt???????

[Panacea]

I knew it was bad. I was working my ass into the ground for the overtime, but it allowed me to pay my bills on time, (with the exception of Dr bills) so I guess it made me think I was making it.

Then the overtime stopped, then I found myself scrambling to pay the bills. Finally, I realized I don't have the money too. So I thought of borrowing, to get through the next month, then the next month, just to get me through this "rough patch" of life. Then I realized, I can't afford to pay my bills....I must fix this. So, I thought I re-finance....NOPE! Too many bills, and a heloc. They suggested loan mod....NOPE! They suggested BANKRUPTCY!

Still not believing its as bad as that, and never really considering BK, I reluctantly went online and started reading about it. I found the means test. I took it, and I was then shocked into reality. I passed, but not by much. Then out of curiosity, I played around with Sched I and J, and did the chapter 13 means test. Quite an eye opener on how screwed up I was.

Then, I cried....then MAD! I knew it was all MY fault, no one held a gun to my head....but why would anyone in their right mind give me a loan for a house I couldn't afford? I remember signing the papers and having doubts, but I "knew" I could make it work. After all, I'M ME! Always have worked things out. I thought I was smart about the mortgage. Didn't get an "arm" but got an interest only for 10 years. I'M THE SMARTEST!! Yep, I'll just sell it before it changes...its all so simple! Why do I have limits of over 50,000 on my credit cards? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE ME THE CAPABILITY TO SPEND OVER 50,000 ON MY SALARY????????? The car loan people..."No problem with financing a car, and having payments at 465.00 a month with all the other crap, Panacea. Your credit score is fantastic....maybe you should look at this luxury car instead?" But, me being the financial wiz I am, beat them at their game, and said "Oh no, that would stretch the bills toooo far". At this point ANY amount was too much, but I was the slick one, and talked them down to 465.00 from 480.00. My God man, can I make the deals or not?? I deserve this car!!!

Though I know, this is my own fault, I allowed this to happen....actually I happily walked down the road of debt for awhile. Feeling like if they believed I could do it, well then damn, I must be okay!

While I do not blame the creditors for doing "what they do" I AM PISSED AT THEM! I feel "set up".

The means test should be given before signing a mortgage, or any huge loan.

So, I will go down in flames for now. BUT, I will come back, better then before, smarter then before and life will go on.....

[Freddy03]

Hang in there I was you a few weeks ago. I was also wondering who, what, where and why did this happen to me. I finally had to suck it up and say WE DID THIS TO OURSELVES! We knew when we refi the house a 2nd time would make our payments go up another $400 a month and add 10 more years to our mortgage. Yes the mortgage broker knew it too but hey he has to make a living...lol Things were great for a year or so - all bills paid on time, buying what we wanted - when we wanted. Then the OT stopped for my husband, then a car accident, then 2 surgeries later - here I am. Up until 2 weeks ago I was robbing Peter to pay Paul then Peter became just as broke as we were...lol I finally feel like I have a grasp on my life and can't wait to file.

Good Luck to you!

[ccsjoe]

I'm with you. As I've often repeated here, nobody forced me to swipe those cards and sign on the dotted lines. Mea Culpa, yes, beyond a doubt. Circumstances factored in? Yes, but mostly we chose.

[Panacea]

I know, I know..............my choices put me here. I guess there are times though, that I grasp at anything to blame. The most depressing part is that no matter how I look at it, how I dream I can change it or who I try to place the blame on....it always comes back to my mistakes made and no "do overs" anymore.

This is it, the end of the road...time to wave the white flag and go forward with the BK and foreclosure.

[Dee]

For a while I kept going out the garage and wondering where the 2 Mercedes Benzes were that I must have bought...

[tobee43]

wow...we are tend to attempt the "BLAME" game.

fact is, would this have happened to us 10 years ago...when the overtime was flowing in and times were good? we simply can't blame ourselves ...personally, i never purchased any luxury items with my high cc's balances...it was all med expenses. and, not poor money management...actually how can one manage money when there simply is NO money coming in after losing your job.

we have all felt the guilt and hind sight is BLIND...as in HHM's thread which i can't find at the moment says.... it's not 20/20....

we need to forgive ourselves and made the right steps to help us into a better future...for some of us that means no more nice cars, and vacas...and going out to eat...and for others it's just circumstances that we must deal with.

you will be fine!!! promise!

[discouraged]

I thought I was fine, bought a small house I could afford on my salary, a used car paid with a tax refund, thrift shops, etc. Then I lost my job and all of a sudden, the 2/3 salary I was getting from unemployment did not make the bills.

Yet, you are right - they kept on upping my credit line, sent me apps for cards, did everything in their power to keep me 'buying'. Even my loc at the bank kicked in $400 when I was only going to need $48, and wouldn't have even needed that if they'd processed my check before they processed payments - because it was all done on the same day!

[JRScott]

It is the realization that leads to a change in behavior. Sometimes we fight that realization for years. I fought it for 2 years when finally in 2007 I filed bankruptcy. I was nervous up to the filing, but my lawyer and his paralegal thought I was the best prepared candidate they ever had. I had most of the information ready thanks to this forum that I found in the couple weeks before consulting a lawyer.

After I filed I had some relief. When I got the discharge letter felt like the world had lifted up.

I sometimes used to wonder like you. In the end I had debt that was 200% of my annual income. With no foreseeable way to pay it out. We all do it. Mine was run away credit card debt and some medical expenses, nothing real extravagant. Today I have no credit card debt, I've never signed up for another credit card, and I've found it possible to save an emergency fund. Sometimes those things you think are necessities aren't.

Good Luck on your path. Sounds like you got a good start.

[tyson24]

I have so often asked my self how I got here, or how WE got here. I now know that a life change is in order if and when we get through this BK. We have already implemented soem things obviously. I look at my debt and wonder what the heck some were thinking giving us any money either. But like a previous poster said, this would not have happened 10 years ago when times were good, and we could not have known the crash that things would take. We were living high on the hog, had 2 children and still had enough money and if we didn't, we cold refi or charge our way out of it. But then we kept throwing good money after bad trying to get ahead and we succeeded a few times but I think we knew long ago that our time was running out.

Try not to feel too bad or beat yourself up, because just about every person in this forum probably feels the same way at one point. All we can do is change our lives and hopefully our circumstances. I know that I am done with this way of life. I feel that as long I learn from mistakes, they are not really mistakes to reflect on, but learning experiences.

Chin up...that is what I keep telling myself. I am trying to do what some super smart person in this forum said...to think about all of this logically instead of emotionally.

Have a great day

[discouraged]

I try to keep in mind also that these are the banks we bailed out. Personally I think they should, the higher ups in tha bank, be receiving the calls for 'collections'. Yes, we got ourselves into this, but - so did they.

[MSbklawyer]

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE ME THE CAPABILITY TO SPEND OVER 50,000 ON MY SALARY?????????

I haven't quite figured out what their game is. I did an intake on a client today, 80 something-year-old-lady. Her only income is $950 in Social Security. Credit card company gave her a $25,000 credit limit. And she maxed it out.

The clencher is, they also sold her a "credit insurance" policy that would pay her minimum payments in the event she became unemployed or was unable to work for health reasons. HER ONLY INCOME WAS SOCIAL SECURITY!!! She couldn't lose her job -- she didn't HAVE one! No matter how sick she got, the income would be the same! This insurance was absolutely worthless to her. And over the years of having this card, they had charged her approximately $5000 in premiums BY CHARGING THEM TO HER CREDIT CARD!!!

[tobee43]

I haven't quite figured out what their game is. I did an intake on a client today, 80 something-year-old-lady. Her only income is $950 in Social Security. Credit card company gave her a $25,000 credit limit. And she maxed it out.

The clencher is, they also sold her a "credit insurance" policy that would pay her minimum payments in the event she became unemployed or was unable to work for health reasons. HER ONLY INCOME WAS SOCIAL SECURITY!!! She couldn't lose her job -- she didn't HAVE one! No matter how sick she got, the income would be the same! This insurance was absolutely worthless to her. And over the years of having this card, they had charged her approximately $5000 in premiums BY CHARGING THEM TO HER CREDIT CARD!!!

NO!!!!!! please i want to cover my EARs when you tell that story....the banks such be hung upside down down DOWN....NAKED...on second thought put back on their clothes.

this is a disgrace to do this to this poor lady! NOOOOOOO....you have to get these guys...PLEASE! it's a matter of principle...or LACK of principles.

[discouraged]

I agree - they were/are super slick. I remember when Discover called me and said they would give me -0- percent on new purchases but I had to put at least $50 on the card each month to get that great discount. GOSH-what a deal! They forgot to include that the previous balance would continue to grow and grow and grow....

Yup - I was an idiot and fell for it. This is one card I will be soooo happy to see go bye-bye in the bk. Unfortunately, I only owe them $1441 after payiing all these years for that 'great deal'. I finally figured it out and quit charging the 50 years ago and have been paying them for years for it.

And I agree - I really hope you get those guys for her! Their mothers shoudl smack them.

[Panacea]

Thank you all for input. Its unfortunate so many of us are in similar situations, but very comforting to know you all are here with me, helping me work out not just the BK worries, but my thoughts in general!

I haven't quite figured out what their game is. I did an intake on a client today, 80 something-year-old-lady. Her only income is $950 in Social Security. Credit card company gave her a $25,000 credit limit. And she maxed it out.

The clencher is, they also sold her a "credit insurance" policy that would pay her minimum payments in the event she became unemployed or was unable to work for health reasons. HER ONLY INCOME WAS SOCIAL SECURITY!!! She couldn't lose her job -- she didn't HAVE one! No matter how sick she got, the income would be the same! This insurance was absolutely worthless to her. And over the years of having this card, they had charged her approximately $5000 in premiums BY CHARGING THEM TO HER CREDIT CARD!!!

NO!!!!!! please i want to cover my EARs when you tell that story....the banks such be hung upside down down DOWN....NAKED...on second thought put back on their clothes.

this is a disgrace to do this to this poor lady! NOOOOOOO....you have to get these guys...PLEASE! it's a matter of principle...or LACK of principles.

This, I find unacceptable! This should be considered fraud. If she had no job, it should never had been offered. It should be against the law. The poor woman.

[mommi2many]

I know ultimately it was me who got myself into this mess. But, I must put some blame on the credit card companies. I thought I was doing fine by being able to make the payments each month even though we didn't have much money left over for everyday expenses. You know that meant everyday expenses would go on the cards and the cycle continued for years. That is until they raised our interest rates and lowered all of our balances to exactly what we owed on the cards. They sank us and I had no choice but to quit paying them because it was literally impossible. I had to feed my kids and therefore, could not feed the credit card companies any longer. I get that no one held a gun to my head and made me open these accounts and charge like I did, but when I asked these companies for help they said they couldn't. I asked if they could lower my interest rates and was told sorry, nothing we can do. They decided they would rather have no money than some money so that is why I am filing bankruptcy with little to no guilt. I tried.