Frustration.....WARNING - Venting follows.....

[footballfan]

I feel stuck, and as my husband has suggested I keep mum for now, I am going to vent. I apologize in advance. I am curious if anybody wants to weigh in on my situation and/or set me straight....although be kind when doing so -- still licking my wounds.

A little back story:

DH and I are filing for Ch 7 (over median, attny says it'll be close). Originally planned to file 12/15, but didn't happen. Attny requested additional specific documentation, which I delivered to office on 12/27.

While in office, attny and I chatted briefly and agreed we definitely had to get filed by 12/30 or 12/31. His wife was expecting any day now and since our case is borderline, he said we couldn't wait any longer. I agreed.

12/29 DH calls me in a panic; he fears we won't get this done. Still waiting for 2nd revision of petition and call to come sign papers. I had emailed with attny assistant earlier in morning asking any updates and she indicated she was patiently waiting "with me".

DH is a doom or gloom kinda guy. I've been handling all the interactions and paperwork and told him lets take one step at a time. I reassured him that attny was adamant about filing before month end. But I suggested DH call attny office if he had concerns and wanted reassurance from them.

So DH called them. Then DH called me and once again in a panic, told me that attny's wife had baby day before, attny assistant informed my husband she had told me that and that it could be next week before we sign, as she couldn't expect attny to come into work with new baby in house.

DH got a bit out of control, and as calmly as possible, I explained to him that I was unaware that attny had baby (I knew it was supposed to be any day now), that my understanding was attny was determined to file by 12/31, and I didn't understand why attny assistant was telling him these things.

So I thought it would be a good idea to call attny assistant and clarify these things.

Apparently I overstepped some invisible boundary on that one.

I called assistant and she was basically not pleased that I was calling as she had just explained things to my husband. I stated that I needed clarification on a couple things my husband said to me......and then the condescending lecture began!

I was unable to get a word in, so I patiently listened as she relayed the events/conversations/emails of the past few days -- all things she claimed to have told my husband. Even though I was on the phone, I nodded, verbally okayed and agreed with the things she was telling me. It all sounded right on with how it happened.

So I didn't understand where the miscommunication was coming from -- why my husband was claiming it would be next week.

Once I was given a moment to comment, I was unable to even ask "why next week; attny was adamant about month end filing and was quite aware he could have a new baby any day". Assistant kept talking over me.

I finally asked if I could have a chance to ask my question -- and this is really where it got to me -- assistant informed me that she did not have the time to deal with me, that I should certainly not expect the attny to drop everything to take care of my issues since he had a new baby at home (side note -- I never requested he drop anything; in fact, I was unable to even get to my questions, so she had no idea what my expectations were), and yes, she was irritated with me because attny does have other clients to tend to also.......

Did I paint a clear picture on that? Basically, I was lectured and scolded like a 4 year old child. Am I not the paying client? Is it out of line for me to expect to be able to ask a question or get clarification without being slapped upside the head?

I tried to explain my intentions for calling, but assistant insisted on talking over me and repeating my name over and over as if she was trying to diffuse a hostage situation -- again, had I had 30 seconds to get my question out, she probably could have responded likewise in 30 seconds and call over.

Instead, after listening to her inform me what an apparent overbearing pest I was being, I told her I didn't think the call was getting anywhere, that I thought it was best we just end the call (and she just kept trying to talk over me the whole time), and I said "have a good evening" three times (all the while she's repeating my name and trying to talk over me)......after the third "have a good evening", I just hung up.

I called DH back furious for how disrespected I felt after that call. Hey, if you don't have time to talk to me, I'm a reasonable person -- just let me know upfront that now's not a good time and you'll get back to me. I can appreciate that position. But really, to make a client feel like they are imposing because they have a question? I have been an admin assistant for 20+ years -- if I EVER talked to a client that way, my boss would have kicked my butt out the door.

Anyway, it ruined my evening. DH then got a call from assistant who had to relay all her frustration with me to him and told him how out of control I was, and that this was my SECOND warning about inappropriate behavior (huh, guess I missed the first warning, and oh yeah, never heard that second warning either) and she just wasn't going to deal with me anymore, and that my DH was definitely more reasonable (uh, yeah, he's got her fooled)...yadda yadda.

Oh yeah, also told DH that she heard from attny and he confirmed we would definitely file by midnight 12/31. Gee, now how much of this could have been avoided if she had calmly listened to my questions and responded appropriately in return?

I did get an email from her shortly afterwards telling me that our petition would be available for review, that attny would send shortly, and then we'd set up time for signing.

She also pointed out in her email that she talked to DH again, and then in italicized print pointed out that she also spoke to him about her phone conversation with me (her claim was it was seconds after she had hung up with him the first time). Uhh, does she not know that DH and wife do talk? And that we had a several minute conversation between when he talked to her the first time and when I called her? But no, it was apparently just SECONDs after they had talked.....

I would love to point out to her how offended I was with her tone and demeanor. DH says let it go; don't jeapordize our case. I can appreciate that. I just don't appreciate being labeled a troublemaker, nor letting somebody paint a picture of a situation that is completely false.

So that's my vent. My attny probably thinks I'm some unreasonable, unstable lunatic now, when all I have ever been is curious, responsive, flexible and appreciative.

Love the attny, tolerating the assistant.....

Thanks for taking an hour out of your day to read!

[AngelinaCatHub]

Trust me, that attny knows. Here is our story: After waiting willingly for four quarters and redundant info replacement, we INSISTED on filing before the turn of year. 12/28 we were on site and got the same crap from our lady lawyer herself. We muddled through the process and after our 341 and no questions answered at all, and no responses I started to learn stuff on my own. (Nolo book). We never knew of this site, then. I Motioned to release my attorney and go pro se. This caused a hearing. The UST, our Trustee, and the lawyer was there. The Judge asked me some questions of why I wanted to fire the lawyer. I told him everything Publicly. The Judge smiled in a kind of Fatherly way and siad, "but Mr. Hub, you are almost done. To go pro se now would unnecessarily lengthen your process. Would you reconsider?" Well of course it was my Judge and yes I would.

The good news is that the Lawyer was outed publicly. The Lawyer lost a day of work and a trip to Court. We dropped our request. Once this is over though, you can take just what you wrote here, explain what here is (the Forum) and send it to him. Again, I am sure he knows what he has for an assistant. 'Hub

[footballfan]

Thanks for weighin in 'Hub. I've read your story, of course this was after I had already hired and paid the attorney.

I like my attny, he answers emails quickly, and he's very positive and reassuring. Although I don't feel he's given the proper level of attention to our case and circumstances -- but then again, maybe I am asking for the world and that's not what I've paid for.

I don't feel we've ever been "advised" of anything; when the median incomes changed Nov 1, I would think he would have known that and maybe said hey, let's get you filed in October. One of the reasons we are over median is due to the drop of median income Nov 1. Plus, my husband got a small raise in NOvember, and then a new job for more money in December.

I'm trying to take it one day/step at a time. I'm trying to encourage my husband to also take it one day at a time. Let's file, attend the 341 and go from there.

I'm certain to have way more questions down the road. But this post was all about spilling my guts to someone other than my husband, and not feeling like there would be repercussions for doing so.

I can't get over her comment though that my husband was easier to deal with than me. He's a football coach......he likes to yell!

[AngelinaCatHub]

It is simple FBF, that person is a b@#$h. You are not wrong, her attitude is. She probably excels in her legal work but just has a bad bedside manner. Her boss excuses this but trust me, he knows. 'Hub

P.S. After all is done and you get your hamster dance, mention the "bedside manner" thing to your lawyer off record. (and with a smile)

[keepsmiling]

I would feel exactly the same way.
I despise condescending attitudes and in my next life will know exactly how to put people like this in their place
Good luck, keep us posted.

[Drazil65]

Go in and sign when that is all set up, they will probably file electronically so it will be quick when they do it. Once everything is on record and filed I would then inform the attorney that the assistant was very unprofessional and rude. I would then let him know that you will no longer deal directly with her and that you want all communication with him directly. You are the client and this situation is stressful enough without the added attitude. This is what I would do and as he is attorney of record and it will be just 30 days away from your 341 he will probably just agree to keep peace (if he is smart). I cannot imagine putting up with that attitude but I would handle it directly with the attorney (all the while being over the top nice when talking to him so he has to question her story). The nicer you are in front of him the crazier she will look.

[footballfan]

Thank you all.

We are being filed tomorrow, so fingers crossed.....

[AngelinaCatHub]

Go in and sign when that is all set up, they will probably file electronically so it will be quick when they do it. Once everything is on record and filed I would then inform the attorney that the assistant was very unprofessional and rude. I would then let him know that you will no longer deal directly with her and that you want all communication with him directly. You are the client and this situation is stressful enough without the added attitude. This is what I would do and as he is attorney of record and it will be just 30 days away from your 341 he will probably just agree to keep peace (if he is smart). I cannot imagine putting up with that attitude but I would handle it directly with the attorney (all the while being over the top nice when talking to him so he has to question her story). The nicer you are in front of him the crazier she will look.

Here, Here, Clap, Clap, Clap! I strongly agree. (can you tell?) 'Hub

[etechjc]

Makes me glad for my lawyer. It was a BR Mill lawyer, Husband and Wife team. Husband was the lawyer and wife was the aid. But they were really cheap, Always answered my questions and were always patient with me. Even when I made them go back and change the petition 4 times to add creditors that weren't on my CR. I also must have called them a bazillion times to confirm they had this or that, ask questions, Basically micro managed stuff to the point where I annoyed myself. But they were always professional and calm. I was so happy with them that I would haven given them a tip after all was said and done if I thought they would've accepted it or for that matter I had it.

All I can say is grin and bear it. Once the petition is signed and submitted, As long as all goes smooth you will have very little interaction with them anymore.

[footballfan]

I really thought I had a good one. I do like my attny, but question just how much am I supposed to be the one driving the bus? I provided all the requested info when I completed out questionnaire. But then to find that things I provided were not on the petition....Did he even review this stuff first?

Anyway, we are filed, and I'm patiently awaiting 341.

[nsupanda]

Wow, how awful! My attorney wouldn't even speak to us until it was time to sign the paperwork. His paralegal did all the brunt work, and she wasn't very friendly or helpful. I wouldn't recommend his office to my worst enemy.

If I were you... I'd be tempted to bring up how the assistant treated you. I know your husband doesn't want it to affect your case, but I think if you spoke with the attorney directly and respectfully voiced your concerns he would probably (depending on what kind of person he is) be more apt to BETTER your case or pay more attention to your needs... just so he won't get bad word of mouth. It's just good business sense...

[LadyInTheRed]

This woman's behavior is completely unacceptable, even if you were a PITA. I have had clients that I would have loved to tell off, which is basically what she did to you. But, I would never do that. I am always professional and polite when I talk to them, even if I start cursing them the moment I hang up the phone. If I don't feal they are listening or if I get a sense that they are not satisfied with my answers to their questions, I suggest I have the attorney call them.

As far as the assistant saying the attorney can't do anything because his wife just had a baby, that's B.S. It is an attorney's obligation to be available for client when required or have another attorney available to cover for him. It's the assistant's job to determine what calls need the attorney's immediately attention and to politely and professionally handle the ones that don't. The attorney needs to know when the assistant is not adquately doing her job. If you don't tell him, he won't know.

[etechjc]

I agree with these statements, However, At what point is it best to make waves vs just grin an bear it. Personally, While being completely pissed, As long as the job is getting done, I think Id just grin and bear it. Then after it was all done, Maybe id talk to the attorney directly.

At least this attorney didn't do what my sisters attorney did to her the other day. 2 days before my sisters custody hearing, Her attorney told her that she wasn't interested in working for her anymore, and she needed to find another attorney. Without giving a reason. Apparently your allowed to do that if your a legal aid lawyer.

[footballfan]

I couldn't agree more. I did mention to him that I would be dealing directly with him from that point forward. He had already heard her version of what happened, and interestingly enough it was more of a rip on my husband than me! I got some yadda yadda about how she's front line and at month end has to manage lots of calls and questions.....I let it go for the time being. I do live in a right to work state, so if her job is just so unbearable, maybe she should find a new one?

I've focused my contact directly on my attny. This assistant has been emailing info to us and I politely reply with a thank you, but I no longer reach out to her.

I really had thought we were on the same page (so much so, that my call to her was for clarification only, not to stir any pots), and that I was behaving in a professional and appreciative manner. But it just goes to show you how others can interpret actions in a completely opposite way than your true intentions.

It's water under the (burnt) bridge.

[keepsmiling]

Actually in many instances you will NOT be allowed to dump your client. My dh had to keep representing someone even though he wasn't getting paid. Judge would not let him out.