Stress and anxiety of BK

[denisejohn65]

I thought I would start this thread to see how everyone deals with BK from an emotional point. The day to day wait of filing, court dates..discharge. What keeps you going? How to relieve your stresses and anxieties...weather it is church....prayers....talking....medications whatever. Maybe we can be of help to eachother in this stressful time. Thanks

[LuciluS]

Denise:

I've spent the last 20 minutes finding some Threads for your Viewing...ooppss Reading Pleasure

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=40483

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=39823

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=39602

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=39565

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=37320

Although, hubby and I have not filed Yet! Our BK journey started 9/08. We will be filing 9/09.

I think it was you I read having to wait about 5 weeks for consult with Attorney?? I understand your Stress level and emotions maybe somewhat out of kilter. Hope reading the above Threads will help.

I'll attempt to answer any questions you might 'throw at' me. Will 'duck'; however, attempt to answer them.

Hugs,

Luci

[denisejohn65]

No, it didn't take long at all for me. I started the chapter 7 process in April 09 filed with Lawyer on June 12th 09...341 is July 20th. So, nervous! Panic attacks..little ones.I really don't have as much cc debt as some on here.....some are at 100 and over. I'm at 25-30...then about 5000.00 in medical and then the condo at 77000.00 and car at 10000.00 letting both of those go too. I guess after a discharge you still have to wait on the bank to forclose..which could be a while and still have to pay hoa fees and the electric bill. That is really worrisome. I guess I pray alot and go to church...try with all my might to not think of things. Thinking of getting some meds...really.

[LuciluS]

No, it didn't take long at all for me. I started the chapter 7 process in April 09 filed with Lawyer on June 12th 09...341 is July 20th. So, nervous! Panic attacks..little ones.I really don't have as much cc debt as some on here.....some are at 100 and over. I'm at 25-30...then about 5000.00 in medical and then the condo at 77000.00 and car at 10000.00 letting both of those go too. I guess after a discharge you still have to wait on the bank to forclose..which could be a while and still have to pay hoa fees and the electric bill. That is really worrisome. I guess I pray alot and go to church...try with all my might to not think of things. Thinking of getting some meds...really.

Meds??? what's that?? just teasing. When my Son & his brood come to visit, they tease both of Us (me and hubby) about the prescribed medicines we take. I'm 100% disabled & hubby is a cardiac patient. Even our shih-tzu takes to prescribed medicines a day.

If you can 'make it' through your 341, I've heard it's a Breeze after such. After I replied, I was reading your posts and I really don't think you have anything to fret over. If your financial situation has changed by 10$ (that's the figure in our Attorney's packet) since filing, you might want to run such changes by your Attorney before the day of your 341.

However, if not, please call your doctor. I know when hubby was told in late Jan. 07, he needed at least 5 - 7 bypass surgery, our doctor gave us a small dose of Xanax for anti-anxiety. RX was 14 pills which helped hubby.

Owning a condo & having to pay HOA dues after BK is the pits until foreclosure which could take awhile, depending on your mortgage company. I know here in Arkansas, housing sales are on the rise for the month of June.

Yes, hubby and I pray a lot, too. Our church has offered to help us. We feel there are poorer people in our little town, so we declined. They call during the week, especially if both of us missed a Sunday service. Hubby is an OTR Truck Driver & usually leaves Sat. or Sun. depending on what day he got back to the company yard the previous week.

Will add you to my Prayer list especially through July 20th. Let us know how easy your 341 went k?

Hugs,

Luci

[denisejohn65]

Luci...thank you so much! I went back and read those....it helped a bit. The only thing that has changed is my wages...not working any more. I do get alimony of 1200.00 month and a sm retirement from the x at 447.00 a month....that's it. I will be going this week to see the lawyer to finish the rest of the paper work for the 341 and I will ask questions. Although...I know he he charge me more money for doing so.I'm kind of thankful that my cc is not as high as alot of other people on here. I just wish I could get rid of that condo FASTER!!!!! I really appreciate you writing on my thread! I hope others will write too.

[Bandit]

I dont believe that god, if there is a god intervenes in mans affairs so that one (that kind of praying) is off the table.

Learn that despair and sorrow are needed elements for a healthy emotional framework. BK teaches you that anything is possible and that you need to recognise both positive and negative attributes in all aspects of life and stop clinging to only one or the other where in some cases people are obnoxiously overly optimistic or overly pessimistic with no reality. Accept the fact the the glass is BOTH, half full and half empty and that there are other possibilities than it only being half full. BK also teaches one to stop looking down at others for whatever reason one might try to justify that.

I think people who survive a BK come out stronger in every possible way imaginable, expecially those who suffer from physical pain in health that leads to the emotional pain. The emotional pain from a BK pales to non existent when compared to that of physical pain. I can so say so because I experienced them all at the same time. Those in BK over medical problems get a triple whammy especially when it is an illness that leads to losing your job and your house..... It was the physical pain that made me suicidal, not the emotional pain of BK. So, be thankful it is only your car or your house or your job or your lousy spouse that caused the BK or that you lose in a 7. They can all be replaced, while the pain of a chronic health problem and/or medical bills leading to BK does absolutely nothing to help them. It woke me up to the physical and emotional stress of those millions who are sick and afflicted who cannot pay their medical bills. BK should teach you in all fullness how to manage expectations and view all possibilities while understanding there are no guarantees in life. Are you there yet?

It also made me realize that some people got to have fun and enjoy their spending along the way that led to BK. How nice.

I learned there are a lot of whining people in the world who complain about trivial things (& I am guilty as well) and a BK is the least of your worries, that is if you have not committed any kind of fraud and know the law before you file.

To answer the question, I spent my time during my own, studying the law, studying attorneys and any and all BK cases I could find. I Learned more from doing that, than being here. I spent more time trying to help others with their BK problems than I did trying to fix my own, but in all of that I was able to fix my own and make all the right decisions along the way without making a single mistake. Helping others sort through their problems instead of just helping my own selfish self is what kept my sanity, I think...and yes there was vicadin and other pain meds that helped to ease the physical pain(s) and for those I am thankful.

[denisejohn65]

You know....when I first went to see my Lawyer....I really knew nothing of BK7 and I'm learning a lot from here. I still hardley know anything or understand all of this stuff. I guess that is what gives me such worry and makes me nervous.Mine is filed as of 6/12/09 341 is 7/20/09. I have appt with Lawyer tomorrow Tue to finish rest of papers before ct date. I have lots of questions to ask............

[denisejohn65]

You know.....it seems the more I read on here the more anxiety I get. Does this happen to anyone else on here??? By the way....I go see the Lawyer Tuesday to do the last of the paper work before the hearing. Boy do I have a ton of questions for him. I bet he charges me an arm and a leg!

[FLBK7]

My Chapter 7 BK happened a little over 5 years ago, but I'll never forget what an agony the process was for me. In retrospect, I realize I made myself sick for no reason. But hindsight is 20-20, isn't it?

I didn't need to lose any weight, but lost 32 pounds in the process, from realizing BK was inevitable through filing and through discharge. My family knew about the BK, but other people thought I was "sick" because of the rapid weight loss. I just wasn't interested in eating. My mind was going non-stop and I had trouble sleeping as well. I was an older filer and to me, filing BK was such an awful and embarrassing thing to do.

It turned out that I had worried myself sick over nothing. The 341 was just a formality. My case was clear-cut and I had provided all the additional documentation requested because my case had been "flagged" for suspected abuse. But the trustee immediately realized there was no abuse, just very, very bad luck. Discharge and closing followed as scheduled.

Five years later, I'm back at my normal weight and I no longer need anti-anxiety meds. But the experience has left an indelible effect in me. Which is good, actually. We all learn from our experiences.

[Bandit]

You know.....it seems the more I read on here the more anxiety I get. Does this happen to anyone else on here??? By the way....I go see the Lawyer Tuesday to do the last of the paper work before the hearing. Boy do I have a ton of questions for him. I bet he charges me an arm and a leg!

You hired an attorney and already filed but do not know how much he is charging? It sounds like you jumped into it without knowing all the details and possibilities. Uncertainity could be where the panic attacks are coming from but your situation isn't unusual.

I aksed all my questions prior to filing or hiring anyone and my questions were desinged to expect their answers to be according to the law. Actually, I talked with over 20 attorneys It was amazing how stupid and inconsiderate half of them were but I had learned how to find a good one through all of that. It was actually interesting and fun talking to them.

[denisejohn65]

FLBK7. What sets them off to look at something that may be abuse? Bandit....yes...I may have jumped the gun....not knowing anything. The Lawyer I choose was the brother of the one who did my divorce. My divorce worked out well...so I just figured I would use his brother. I'm just over all an anxious person to begin with and this just makes it worse on me.

[Bandit]

It sounds like you have not actually filed with a case number yet? If this is true, you can tell your attorney to hold off on filing for one week, one month or for awhile, until you are absolutely sure you understand everything you are doing and about to sign. So you are going with a small family practice or brothers...nothing wrong with that but at the same time you dont want to be another BK horror story just because you were ansxious. Some of these attorneys will not tell you what is really going on unless you ask them and be firm about it. For them it is just like washing dishes every day.

Get your list of written down questions together for him or did you already go and come back today? You can also put a down payment and reserve the rest until the month you file. Your attorney should work with you in all of these areas.

Is there anything pressuring you to MUST file in June? Being anxious is ok, you just have to drive it and sprinkle it into all the right areas.

[denisejohn65]

It is filed as of June12th 09. The Lawyer is older so I'm pretty sure he knows his stuff.I live in the Denver area....so they are not small time Lawyers.I go see him today to finish up the paper work before the 341 on July 20th 09. Yes, I have questions wrote down and I expect to pay for him to answer those too. I'm NERVOUS!!!!! OMGOSH

[Bandit]

if you already filed then there is no more paperwork. what do you mean by this?:

I go see the Lawyer Tuesday to do the last of the paper work before the hearing.

just because you file with an attorney does not mean he has already filed it to the court. What does last of the paperwork mean?

Once he has a case number & has filed, there is no more paperwork unless the trustee asks for it later. If you dont have a case number then he has not filed yet. I can't tell for sure where you are at right now in the process.

[denisejohn65]

I have a # case #and I have to do wage due statments. I had this paperwork since we started the process in April. I had to complete the other credit course and you can't do that until you have filed.You have to have bank statements which show your bal as of the dated filed. My 341 ids July 20th 09. It's not alot of paper work.