Was I stupid or what?

[BKOnce]

Its sad and pathetic I know. We had been dating since February and the first week I bought him a tv as a house gift for his apartment. He had a apartment that did not have any furniture but a bed and 2 computers with chairs, a cheap coffee table and I bought a spectator chair to sit on. He said he was a m.d , but was trying to pass his boards. One day we went into this bike shop and being nice I said I would get the bike for him. I did not mean 100%. About a week later I had major surgery and all he kept talking about was the bike. He said that if I did not buy it he could not trust me because I went back on my word. That is true. Being in the hospital (and he never visited), made me realize he was only after the bike. When I got out I told him several times that I had up to 1000 to give, but that was all. I was so sick in the bike shop with him, I really did not know what was happening. I fdid not even hold my head up. I couldnt even walk to the register to sign my name. He asked for the card I gave it and was stupid. I told him many times to retun it and hope when I call tonight that he did. Thanks for all the advice, no more men for me.

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First, any doctor (or wanabe) NEVER NEVER NEVER... want/go/desire/entertain after small/cheap things. Their minds set on greater future, greater goals/purposes, & more money$$ potentials for themselves and by themselves ahead! Either their parents must support them for school and they must get financial support$ somewhre.. so tuition + books + tool costs are MUCH greater than some small furniture and old junks lying around house!!

Second, any doctor who said '''trying to pass the board".. is still either a med student, a wannabe doc, a nurse/technician in school/training, etc... , or ultimately could be a HS DROP-OUT later!! With that kind of loser attitude (trying), he/she will fail any board exam and all the hard working hours demands! If he wants to pass, he don't say it, JUST DO IT silently and proves it to everybody!!

Third, any doctor (or wanable) who still has/find any TIME for any leisure activity (either playng video games, biking, fishing, partying, going out often, etc..) are either a LIAR, a CHEATER, an ABUSER, or ultimately FAILURE in life (i.e., kill people, overdose, wrong prescription, bad surgery, etc.) !!

[merime]

Its sad and pathetic I know. We had been dating since February and the first week I bought him a tv as a house gift for his apartment. He had a apartment that did not have any furniture but a bed and 2 computers with chairs, a cheap coffee table and I bought a spectator chair to sit on. He said he was a m.d , but was trying to pass his boards. One day we went into this bike shop and being nice I said I would get the bike for him. I did not mean 100%. About a week later I had major surgery and all he kept talking about was the bike. He said that if I did not buy it he could not trust me because I went back on my word. That is true. Being in the hospital (and he never visited), made me realize he was only after the bike. When I got out I told him several times that I had up to 1000 to give, but that was all. I was so sick in the bike shop with him, I really did not know what was happening. I fdid not even hold my head up. I couldnt even walk to the register to sign my name. He asked for the card I gave it and was stupid. I told him many times to retun it and hope when I call tonight that he did. Thanks for all the advice, no more men for me.

[Annie4]

merime, you just cared about someone and wanted to help, especially when you think a relationship is going somewhere, it's human to do things like that, you just have to watch out for yourself too while you're doing it and make sure you CAN do it in the first place...Just think of yourself as a little girl inside who needs to be cared about and become that person to yourself....sounds weird but it works. lol I learned that from having to take care of myself while my mom worked. If anything got washed, I did it. If anything got cleaned, I did it. I guess I talked to myself alot too? lol Except on the weekends and then we'd all do things together and have fun. You have to think of yourself as important enough TO care about and then do that.

Question: If you were sick and couldn't sign your name, how'd he get out the door with it? Did he put the $800 as a downpayment on it?

You really need to call and find out if he took it back, but if he did put a downpayment on it, chances are he can't take it back?

Small claims court? I've never done that myself, but I probably might for $800 and especially if he led you to believe he was getting his m.d. exams and all finished and would able to pay it back...sounds like that's where he was going with that?

[woeisme]

he's turning it on you, saying you not doing it shows you don't trust him, when truth is, someone trustworthy wouldn't have asked you for such a thing! Make this about HIM, and his problems, not yours! he's the one with the problems, and only you can stop allowing him to use you. dump him fast, he's no good. call the bike shop, if he hasn't turned it back in, tell him you are calling the cops, if you didn't sign for the purchase, tell him you will claim fraud, and arrest his ass. stop trying to save this relationship and save yourself! Just my opinion.

[OhioFiler]

To this day, I'll never get that neediness that women can feel. I have never experienced it, but sure, I'd love to have a gal head over heals for me.
I can't believe there are guys out there that would mess up a good thing.

That neediness you don't get works both ways. There are just as many needy men who fall into the trap as women do.

What is amazing to me is the number of men and women who are not complete as individuals without the expressed approval of a partner. That need for approval turns into one form of abuse or another 9 out of 10 times. Without balance in a relationship one party becomes dominant and one submissive.


P.S. Send me your address and I'll send you a Christmas card this year!

[OhioFiler]

I'm not really sure what your question is about the bike. If you are filing bankruptcy I wouldn't worry about it. You got duped by some schmuck, it happens all the time. You learned from your mistake and that is a good thing. Now keep moving forward.

Your co-dependency issues are in need of immediate attention. Good luck and in the meantime STAY AWAY FROM MEN! Any man you connect with at this point in your life will be an unhealthy choice.

[merime]

thank you, yes I have to seek help. Its like carrying an elephant on my back

[danaf]

[merime]

Thanks

I will find out abouut the bike. And yes I was a stupid girl

[Lacy]

No your not stupid... sometimes love can make you not think so clearly though... You really need to call and make sure he took the bike back though I think.

I been dating a man that sometimes I feel I spend more on him than he does on me. I did voice my concerns with him though about it and things have improved some. I am just the type of person though that doesn't like to have things bought for me rather it be dinner or whatever. I am more of a giving person than a receiving person but I felt maybe I was being taken advantage of in away so I spoke up.... So speak up I know its hard but you got to look out for yourself !!

[justbroke]

If this person has ever physically abused you, threatened abuse, or you even fear abuse or retaliation, you should get a TRO (temporary restraining order) and then appear before a judge to make it permanent. There is no reason why any woman should be afraid of any man. (And I'm a man.)

To this day, I'll never get that neediness that women can feel. I have never experienced it, but sure, I'd love to have a gal head over heals for me. I have never asked any person (nevermind a woman) purchase anything for me. At Christmas, I tell people to buy their children and others gifts, and don't worry about me. I didn't receive one single Christmas present last year and not one Birthday present this year. I guess word has got around.

I can't believe there are guys out there that would mess up a good thing.

[merime]

Thank You

He said and believe me I know it was stupid, that me not buying the bike made him not able to trust him. I told him I was having financial difficulties , but he refused t listen. I gave him $800.00 cash and really thought he was not going to use my card. Yes, I have told him several times to return the bike. I hope he did. iam too embarrased to call the bike shop and ask. Is that stupid? I feel so ashamed.

[JRScott]

Have you had contact with him?

Why do you think he'll come after you?

If you believe he will I would go to the police as well and see about a restraining order.

[NoMoreCards]

If you fear for your safety, please seek help. Call the police, get a restraining order and protect yourself physically.

Then, you may have to consider this a tough, expensive lesson in life. Most people do stupid things at one point in their lives, but you need to learn from them to grow. Hopefully you will make smarter decisions going forward.

I wish you the best

[merime]

Last February I met a guy. I liked him alot. He said he was a m.d , but had not passed his board exams. Long story short, he kept pressuring me to buy him a 5,000 trail bike. I wanted /needed him so i gave in. I was sick the day we bought it, and couldnt even sign my name. I told him to return it. Iam so scared he will come after me. I dont know what to do. yes, I know I am a idiot!! Any advice would help. Thank you