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Just filed yesterday. 341 scheduled for May 9th. Depressed and drained..

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    Just filed yesterday. 341 scheduled for May 9th. Depressed and drained..

    Hi everyone!

    First time poster, long time lurker. Starting the process of bankruptcy has been a tedious and nail biting one. I feel like I've given a few organs and a pint of blood, sweat and tears and I haven't even gone to the 341 meeting yet. A little background to my crazy..

    I've been married for a little over 20 years and I have a son who is special needs (high functioning autistic). After two bouts with the big "C", a major car accident and two job losses as a result of excessive time off for the "almost dying" I had going on, I lost a ton of income. My husband thankfully stayed employed but we incurred a TON of debt to the point it was completely unmanageable. We were making debt to pay debt. Taking out equity in our home and just basically all the perils and stupid young and dumb decisions you can make as an "adult." My husband holds a top secret security clearance and couldn't file with me but on paper he makes a lot. Emphasis on "on paper." So to save our house and to save my sanity I filed alone. My husband is in the middle of his clearance reinvestigation to renew it and the debt is a MAJOR red flag. I'm hoping that seeing I'm doing something about SOME of the debt (I have about $60K on my own) in filing the bankruptcy and rolling the arrears of my car note and our mortgage into the plan will help him with the investigation and he'll get the all clear for another 10 years. He plans to file for a Chapter 7 once I'm safe and secure and confirmed in the plan my attorney has set out for me. It's a 60 month plan of $500/monthly for 30, then an increase at $675.00/monthly for the remaining 30 months.

    My attorney thinks we'll have a bit of push back on my son's expenses with his college tuition, books, transportation only. Because he's on the spectrum he's not really ready to drive (he's 19) and while he's high functioning and on grade level, he is still technically special needs so that is a factor in his expenses. We will likely have to sustain him in some or all ways most of his life so that had to be written into the plan. He gets weekly occupational and counseling therapies so the copays and costs of that were also included. My attorneys says the trustee I got assigned to me is "very easy" so she doesn't expect any objection and she's ready to respond if there is one.

    So my 341 is coming up in a little over a month and I'm a ball of nerves and stomach churns. I haven't been sleeping well and I'm fairly certain I've eaten my weight in boneless wings as of late. So I'm hoping first comes bankruptcy then comes 341 then comes confirmation and in that order. I have a pretty responsive and accommodating attorney who has talked me off the ledge and eased my fears a few times over incessant texts and emails so I consider myself lucky. If she says my trustee is easy then I'll take her word (and over 20 plus years of experience) for it. BUT..my journey begins. End rant..

    #2
    Lay all your worries about the bankruptcy at your attorney's feet. They were hired to deal with this bankruptcy journey and to deal with any objections. It appears that the attorney has prepared you for some of the objections, but they are usually manageable. You may need to produce medical evidence of "dependency" needs for your son, but never take that personally. This is all about ensuring that people are not abusing the system.

    Read the threads about 341 Meetings here and you'll quickly learn that all the worry is 99.99% of the time for naught (pun intended). The Chapter 13 bankruptcy attorneys and Chapter 13 Standing Trustees work together every single day of the week and they generally know how each works. Your attorney seems to be willing to work for you and that's a good think.

    Now, just relax! (I know, I know... I tried to say that to myself and I went through two (2) 341 meetings.) I had to go through a security clearance, actually two of them, and it was nerve racking for me personally. Nothing happened and all was well.
    Chapter 7 (No Asset/Non-Consumer) Filed (Pro Se) 7/08 (converted from Chapter 13 - 2/10)
    Status: (Auto) Discharged and Closed! 5/10
    Visit My BKForum Blog: justbroke's Blog


    I am not an attorney. Any advice provided is not legal advice.

    Comment


      #3
      It sooooooooooooo is easier said than done. It's already a stressful and nerve wracking experience. Everything in me of course is saying "this is good, you are trying to take control of your overwhelming debt. It'll get better." But then that happy trees version of me gets completely pummeled by the neurotic terrified version of me that just hopes to not get a flat tire on the way to my 341 meeting or get creditors yelling "DEADBEAT" at my meeting. Just very Game of Thrones "shame" going on in my head.

      I do have an attorney who has seen it all and she sees no issues other then my son. I only have have his state mandated IEPs (basically a road map education plan) from our county and state of Maryland that note his autism diagnosis. Hopefully if I'm asked that will suffice because honestly since he's technically an "adult" in our state, I don't know if I can request any other records. So I'll keep my fingers crossed I won't have to send any other supplemental information other then that. We have LOADS of those since he was 2 so I can provide those without issue.

      I've been a lurker/borderline stalker since I started this process and it's definitely offered relief and eased my fears of filing in general. I'm about 80% certain it won't completely ruin my life. Well on my way to not feeling like something on the bottom of my shoe..tiny victories

      Comment


        #4
        Flat tire on the way to the 341 Meeting? I have one better. I only had $20 in my pocket, my car needed new tires, and I had to take a cab within 7 miles of my house, then make a collect call from a payphone for someone to come and get me.

        But, I felt like $1,000,000 and that I just won a $100,000,000 Powerball.

        She keep trying to think positively. If your attorney only believes that the payments on behalf and/or to the son may be problematic, that's will just come down to negotiation with the Trustee. These guys do this for a living -- the attorneys and Trustees -- and they know how to manage these issues.

        Yes, it's so easier said that done. I can empathize with you because I was scared to death at my first 341 Meeting... and absolutely horrified at my 2nd 341 Meeting (when I converted my case). I made up and went through so many different scenarios and not one of them came to fruition. I had to keep my mind off the discharge, after my 2nd 341 Meeting, that I created a thread where I tried to distract myself for 14 days before discharge. (Creditor's rarely show up at a 341 Meeting... especially a Chapter 13 341 Meeting.

        If you do have any questions while waiting for your attorney, feel free to ask us all. There are many Chapter 13 people here with varying stories to tell; good and bad.
        Chapter 7 (No Asset/Non-Consumer) Filed (Pro Se) 7/08 (converted from Chapter 13 - 2/10)
        Status: (Auto) Discharged and Closed! 5/10
        Visit My BKForum Blog: justbroke's Blog


        I am not an attorney. Any advice provided is not legal advice.

        Comment


          #5
          It's good the attorney said the trustee is easy going. I hope they understand about your son's needs. My daughter (without any disability) was in college when we first saw the attorney, but we dragged our feet to get our paperwork together and actually file, so when it came to our 341 she had graduated. Graduated literally 3 days prior to our 341 meeting. The trustee questioned the fact we had an adult daughter who was 24 yrs old and had expenses for her including a car payment. They still let us keep the car payment on her car in our plan and didn't push to have her pay for it since her name was on the loan with me (which was discussed). I was made liable for that loan/payment. She had no income at the time, hadn't worked the last year of college and didn't have a job yet.

          Your attorney is prepared with a response so that all sounds positive.

          I am not saying I never stress more than I should, but after going through all this I have learned to literally tell myself, "don't worry it will work out," and to block out a lot of the stress. Almost like just ignoring. I've learned to calm myself somehow. Or I will think in my head, "It's going to be ok."

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by justbroke View Post
            Flat tire on the way to the 341 Meeting? I have one better. I only had $20 in my pocket, my car needed new tires, and I had to take a cab within 7 miles of my house, then make a collect call from a payphone for someone to come and get me.

            But, I felt like $1,000,000 and that I just won a $100,000,000 Powerball.

            She keep trying to think positively. If your attorney only believes that the payments on behalf and/or to the son may be problematic, that's will just come down to negotiation with the Trustee. These guys do this for a living -- the attorneys and Trustees -- and they know how to manage these issues.

            Yes, it's so easier said that done. I can empathize with you because I was scared to death at my first 341 Meeting... and absolutely horrified at my 2nd 341 Meeting (when I converted my case). I made up and went through so many different scenarios and not one of them came to fruition. I had to keep my mind off the discharge, after my 2nd 341 Meeting, that I created a thread where I tried to distract myself for 14 days before discharge. (Creditor's rarely show up at a 341 Meeting... especially a Chapter 13 341 Meeting.

            If you do have any questions while waiting for your attorney, feel free to ask us all. There are many Chapter 13 people here with varying stories to tell; good and bad.
            I know once everything is settled and confirmed and set I'll breathe a little easier, but I think the waiting and the fear of the unknown is more my issue. I'm sure 98% of my fears are irrational but I'm OCD about almost everything including this. I just know I'll be logging more and more hours in the gym the closer I get to this meeting and this confirmation hearing. Either that or eating my weight in cookies.

            My attorney is great actually. She reminds me of one of my aunts. Reassures me when I'm super nervous and sometimes ignores me but on the really neurotic stuff she responds. A happy medium and I guess I need especially right now. But I'm not sure what bills I should be paying honestly so I'll have to ask her. I know she said definitely my mortgage/car note/trustee payment within 30 days of my filing date but the other bills included in my bankruptcy (including the payment plans for Federal and State taxes) but I'm a little fuzzy on the rest of the miscellaneous and credit card bills/loans/etc.

            So the saga continues. Fingers crossed i'm not calling an Uber because my phone died and so did my car on confirmation or 341 day! I'm getting there hours early so I can ensure a parking space and to make sure I don't miss it! My last name starts with a "C" so if they go alphabetically, I'll be up fairly early.

            Comment


              #7
              Your fears aren't irrational. Your fears are that you are not in control of your destiny, and that your fate (may) rest in the hands of a person, known as the Trustee. You fear that people will look at you different or that you'll be judged.

              There is 100% no judgement here on BKForum. We've been where you are. (My case almost mirrors some of your issues as I do have a special needs stepson that still lives with me, and he's 28... high functioning extreme emotional)

              I wish you a great day!

              Chapter 7 (No Asset/Non-Consumer) Filed (Pro Se) 7/08 (converted from Chapter 13 - 2/10)
              Status: (Auto) Discharged and Closed! 5/10
              Visit My BKForum Blog: justbroke's Blog


              I am not an attorney. Any advice provided is not legal advice.

              Comment


                #8
                You beat cancer twice... This is easy compared to that....

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by carmella13 View Post
                  It's good the attorney said the trustee is easy going. I hope they understand about your son's needs. My daughter (without any disability) was in college when we first saw the attorney, but we dragged our feet to get our paperwork together and actually file, so when it came to our 341 she had graduated. Graduated literally 3 days prior to our 341 meeting. The trustee questioned the fact we had an adult daughter who was 24 yrs old and had expenses for her including a car payment. They still let us keep the car payment on her car in our plan and didn't push to have her pay for it since her name was on the loan with me (which was discussed). I was made liable for that loan/payment. She had no income at the time, hadn't worked the last year of college and didn't have a job yet.

                  Your attorney is prepared with a response so that all sounds positive.

                  I am not saying I never stress more than I should, but after going through all this I have learned to literally tell myself, "don't worry it will work out," and to block out a lot of the stress. Almost like just ignoring. I've learned to calm myself somehow. Or I will think in my head, "It's going to be ok."
                  I've tried to block out as much as I can in terms of "worst case scenarios" but it's definitely a lot. Most of my creditors are now aware of my bankruptcy and my credit file has been updated. My mortgage company got notice maybe 24 hours after I filed so it was quicker than I realize. I'm waiting for the case number in the mail and the info from the bankruptcy trustee so I can get everything registered and set up. I'm still cringing inside and trying to focus on the positives that'll occur down the road. It's definitely a relief to slowly weed out $60K in debt but I of course wish it was my husband's as well. But the payment is manageable (I paid that to a debt settlement company that settled very little of my debt) for nine months before I did all this so paying less than that with the tax debt we owe rolled into it is definitely doable.

                  That all the way sucks with your daughter's debt and having that curveball but my son will likely need our "help" in a major way for most if not all of his life even once he's done with college. The structure is what he needs most so my hope is this trustee is as reasonable as my attorney says he is and doesn't ask for any and every kind of evidence to get those costs approved. But I won't know until we actually have the meeting. So we shall see..

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by craneman View Post
                    You beat cancer twice... This is easy compared to that....
                    You would think so but with cancer you know what's coming, crap..pain..some more crap..then hopefully recovery. Too many variables with this.

                    And the second time around it was like riding a really crappy bike with puking. I knew the layout unfortunately.

                    Comment

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