The thing to remember is that you are *learning* something from this experience; you feel badly because you feel remorse and realize you could have made better decisions. That's part of being contrite about your experience; I personally would worry about the person who doesn't feel remorse.
That said, it's a fresh start. I personally held off filing for years because I thought I could get ahead but I realized that for me, the stress outweighed any benefit paying off my ex-husband's massive debt would have. Yes, it'd be better if I could have paid it off, but reality bites--it wasn't going to happen without winning the lottery.
Take care and I am sure you will feel better; I believe that a certain amount of guilt is a sign of good character, if that's any consolation.
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Congrats on the car loan!
I don't feel much guilt. I feel more like I failed somehow. Like I wasn't suppose to end up in BK. That wasn't my plan for my life. So I don't feel guilty, just that I did a really bad job managing our lives. That's why I really don't ever want another cc. I can accept I am bad with them. I am an excellent person at paying my bills, there were always on time, even if it meant we had to use the cc to eat.
Don't let the guilt get to you, you're only doing what you had to, it's was simply a survival method. You have survived BK now, so get out and enjoy living within your means. No more living like Kings, just simple folk, getting by with what you make!!
Good luck and congrats on the discharge!Leave a comment:
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Oh yes, I'm sorry......CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
My manners at times......Leave a comment:
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First of all CONGRATS ON THE DISCHARGE!!!!
What great news on the car loan (especially being right out of BK)!!! Now go live your life and start over!!!
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You are making perfeect sense. We feel bad in a way about some of it, but really, you have to look at it as a 'business decision'. You and DH made some bad decisions, and you couldn't work your way out. Now, this good business decision gives you a chance at a 'New Start.'Originally posted by turnedleaf View PostIs this making sense to anyone else? Its weird, and its driving my husband crazy that I am not brimming with excitement like he is.
Now, that said, you both cannot just go back to 'life as normal', i.e. start running up the cards again. You have got to get yourselves on budget and stick with it. Use cash. When the cash runs out, thats it.
My best~~~~Leave a comment:
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Ever feel guilty?
We were discharged yesterday () and thats wonderful. It really is. We had a very, very simple case, no asset or objections. The hardest part of the whole thing was filling out the forms. Our credit has remained surprisingly good and we were approved today for a car loan up to $45000 at 8.75% (obviously, not using even half of it...).
We are easily making it now, and my DH is just beside himself with joy.
I feel awful. I feel guilty, like this should have been so much harder or that we should have been "punished" more. I wish I could say that the need for BK wasnt our fault, but it was. We were stupid and lived like Kings when we couldnt afford it. And now, its all gone. All that overindulgence has been sucked up by the creditors. And for some creditors I dont care. But some I feel terrible about, like my little home town credit union etc. I know we did the right thing, and that we had no other choice, but I still feel like I SHOULDNT be able to enjoy myself because of filing bankruptcy.
Is this making sense to anyone else? Its weird, and its driving my husband crazy that I am not brimming with excitement like he is.
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