Ever feel guilty?

[MNBK7guy]

If you do feel guilty about filing BK on a certain creditor, ie your local credit union, department store etc., you can still pay them back. There is no law against that. If that would make your conscience feel better, then save up what you owed them or even a small portion and give it to them. I'm sure they would appreciate the gesture.

[Debster222]

I don't feel guilty for filing BK. We fully planned and diligently worked on getting all our debts PAID, to our own detrement sometimes (I DO feel a little guilty about that part). We were ambushed by a Credit card suddenly and without cause, doubling our interest rate, and when my husband called to try and get it back to normal, he was told they would do it "across the board" and they didn't have to have a reason - they just did it "because we can".

So we decided to consolidate our cc debt by using our HELOC which had been paid off (now I DO feel guilty for being STUPID enough to do THAT).

A month or so later, we were hit by a predator who got a judgment which we had totally thought we would win, because his lawsuit was based in part on fraudulent claims. It was a totally unfair situation that unfortunately I can't explain here. Anyway, that pushed us off the BK cliff - because he started threatening and harassing us to no end. So just for our health and sanity more than anything else, we caved in and filed. Not what we planned. Not what we expected. Not what we wanted. But no, I do not feel guilty for trying to keep our sanity, health and possibly, our little home. Just guilty for doing some not-too-wise things (all in an effort to pay all our debts and "do the right thing").

You are right about that! I had CC companies push up our interest rates to as high as 32% and when I called them, they basically told me to go jump in a lake. I told them if they didn't lower it I wasn't going to pay them another dime and never did either. They cut their own throats in a lot of ways.

I was just talking about the charges we did that, in retrospect, were dumb on our part.

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

I don't feel guilty for filing BK. We fully planned and diligently worked on getting all our debts PAID, to our own detrement sometimes (I DO feel a little guilty about that part). We were ambushed by a Credit card suddenly and without cause, doubling our interest rate, and when my husband called to try and get it back to normal, he was told they would do it "across the board" and they didn't have to have a reason - they just did it "because we can".

So we decided to consolidate our cc debt by using our HELOC which had been paid off (now I DO feel guilty for being STUPID enough to do THAT).

A month or so later, we were hit by a predator who got a judgment which we had totally thought we would win, because his lawsuit was based in part on fraudulent claims. It was a totally unfair situation that unfortunately I can't explain here. Anyway, that pushed us off the BK cliff - because he started threatening and harassing us to no end. So just for our health and sanity more than anything else, we caved in and filed. Not what we planned. Not what we expected. Not what we wanted. But no, I do not feel guilty for trying to keep our sanity, health and possibly, our little home. Just guilty for doing some not-too-wise things (all in an effort to pay all our debts and "do the right thing").

[hnhlvr]

I don't feel guilty. Dh and I had planned to pay off our debt until he lost his job.

We paid our high mortgage w/balance transfer checks for a few months and used the CCs thinking he'd get another excellent paying job that would aid us in paying off our debt. That didn't happen so here we our with loads of debt and lower paying job that means our debts would never get paid off (or possibly they would in 30 years!).

The only aspect I regret (yet still do not feel guilty about) is that due to my over usage of credit cards, I ended charging the wrong stuff on my cards. Way back before we knew we were going to file, I wish I had charged a trip to France rather than just hitting the mall for more clothes than I can ever wear.

[Cali]

Congrats on the discharge!!

I have never felt guilty, because it wasn't my fault that I ended up filing. My company wanted me to relocate overseas, and with my hubby being military stationed here w/ two teenagers that wasn't going to happen.

It is hard to go from nice 6 figure income to a lower end 6 figure income with the same bills.

[Debster222]

I know exactly what you're talking about. I think most of us feel a little guilty, unless the debt was due to something beyond our control. We did the same thing and spent like fools when we were raking in the big bucks from our business. Problem is, we handled the money poorly and didn't plan for a rainy day. So, I can totally relate to this, but don't beat yourself up. It's in the past now and you can start fresh and hopefully not make the same mistakes.

[Flamingo]

We were discharged yesterday () and thats wonderful. It really is. We had a very, very simple case, no asset or objections. The hardest part of the whole thing was filling out the forms. Our credit has remained surprisingly good and we were approved today for a car loan up to $45000 at 8.75% (obviously, not using even half of it...).

We are easily making it now, and my DH is just beside himself with joy.

I feel awful. I feel guilty, like this should have been so much harder or that we should have been "punished" more. I wish I could say that the need for BK wasnt our fault, but it was. We were stupid and lived like Kings when we couldnt afford it. And now, its all gone. All that overindulgence has been sucked up by the creditors. And for some creditors I dont care. But some I feel terrible about, like my little home town credit union etc. I know we did the right thing, and that we had no other choice, but I still feel like I SHOULDNT be able to enjoy myself because of filing bankruptcy.

Is this making sense to anyone else? Its weird, and its driving my husband crazy that I am not brimming with excitement like he is.

There are good and bad things to filing BK. First, it gives you a fresh start to get you out of the black hole you eventually find yourself in when there is really no way out; however, it remains on your credit for 10 years (Chapter 7) and still can prevent you from a lot of things during that time. You must know that just cause you qualified for a car loan right out of filing means that the creditor knows of your BK but also knows that you have no debt so you qualified and they are basing it on the fact that you have the money and are free and clear after discharge. But that BK on your record may not allow you to be approved for other credit in the years to come and if you change jobs, can be viewed negatively. Also, it is public record and never goes away. If you are ever asked the question on an employment or other financial form - "Have you EVER filed for bankruptcy," you will have to answer yes. But don't ever feel bad for allowing yourself to utilize a law that was made to help people out - view it as a one time thing that you will not allow to happen again. Learn from it as we and others have on here.

[AngelinaCatHub]

i agree. and yes i feel some guilt every time i hear about how bad the economy is and the credit crunch, blah blah...i start thinking 'i'm part of the problem now' and i realize that i'm contributing to the tougher credit environment that's coming up all around us...people will have a harder time qualifying for credit because of bkers like me, rates and prices will go up, landlords and loaners and employers and whoever else will be more conservative...and then i realize hey!!! that's all great news!!!!! why? because it means people will be reset to living within their means again, using their paychecks instead of the cotton candy density of credit.

it's sad we have to goon up our finances to figure out that we just need to live more simply. but i got the message loud and clear. and that education, that growth - it pretty much squashes the guilt.

Yes it may take another depression for this Country to realize what really counts. When I was a teenager, my parents could not afford to give me a car. Yet in today’s world, some parents slap a new BMW in the drive when their daughter turns 18. (or similar gifts without costs) How we became “I need it now, and Wal*mart has it so I’m gonna get it now", is what our whole society has learned. In the old days, grandpa’s and parents during and after the war (WWII) were more cautious.

I remember my Dad made good money. $80.00 bucks a week. Their house a “Levette” ticky-tacky box was only $4,700.00. I pint of milk at school was 2 cents. There were NO credit cards only Store credit. I remember Sears cards and I remember my parents in the ‘50’s going down that primrose path to debt. There is no blame here but there SURE IS AN EDUCATION, and it is for us to pass this on to others if they will listen. ‘Hub

[downwardspiral]

that's all great news!!!!! why? because it means people will be reset to living within their means again, using their paychecks instead of the cotton candy density of credit

I totally agree with that. So many people are living way beyond their means. Once I came forward with my financial problem I was shocked to see how many of my friends and coworkers were in the same boat.

[b_girl]

And for some creditors I dont care. But some I feel terrible about, like my little home town credit union etc. I know we did the right thing, and that we had no other choice, but I still feel like I SHOULDNT be able to enjoy myself because of filing bankruptcy.

Is this making sense to anyone else? Its weird, and its driving my husband crazy that I am not brimming with excitement like he is.

Totally relate! Some creditors I don't care...they sucked the life out of us with their high interest rates...the way I see it, they got paid and paid again for the items we purchased, so no guilt there. But as for our hometown bank..well, I did feel guilty, too, but when it's a choice between their welfare and ours, well, ours is the most important. They have the resources to recover, we're back to square one (negative one in some areas). Filing bankruptcy is definitely a business decision, so don't feel overly guilty...however, it's wise to learn from the mistakes that led to this path. In our case, deteriorating health which led to a loss of income led to our bankruptcy...an unforeseen event, but if we hadn't been living large in our own way, it might not have hit us as hard as it did. Live and learn, heh? I know we have.

[downwardspiral]

Congrats on your discharge and car loan. That's fantastic!

I understand how you feel. I felt the same way, for a long time. I couldn't sleep at night. I felt so iresponsible. But it happened. I didn't mean it to. I made a lot of mistakes and some things were out of my control. I agree with the others, look at it as a business decision. YOu did what you needed to do to survive. Just don't fall into old habits. Enjoy your fresh start.

[magyar123]

Don't feel guilty. You made the right decision. You were in debt, creditors/collection goons were hounding you, kept on piling on fees, raised your interest rates to predatory/loanshark level rates.

[justplaintired]

Thank you so much, I know you're right! Somedays and we all have them we feel down and today I guess was my day. Kids go back to school tomorrow and that's very depressing to me, yes I am weird I like my boys at home, besides it feels like summer is over and oh how I hate winter. LOL Anyway thank you for those nice words and sorry for being a downer there.

You are oh so right, I have learnt, never again will cc control my life. It's just not worth it in the long run. All that crap it buys is just that crap!

[TEW]

We were discharged yesterday () and thats wonderful. It really is. We had a very, very simple case, no asset or objections. The hardest part of the whole thing was filling out the forms. Our credit has remained surprisingly good and we were approved today for a car loan up to $45000 at 8.75% (obviously, not using even half of it...).

We are easily making it now, and my DH is just beside himself with joy.

I feel awful. I feel guilty, like this should have been so much harder or that we should have been "punished" more. I wish I could say that the need for BK wasnt our fault, but it was. We were stupid and lived like Kings when we couldnt afford it. And now, its all gone. All that overindulgence has been sucked up by the creditors. And for some creditors I dont care. But some I feel terrible about, like my little home town credit union etc. I know we did the right thing, and that we had no other choice, but I still feel like I SHOULDNT be able to enjoy myself because of filing bankruptcy.

Is this making sense to anyone else? Its weird, and its driving my husband crazy that I am not brimming with excitement like he is.

[soleprop]

Take care and I am sure you will feel better; I believe that a certain amount of guilt is a sign of good character, if that's any consolation.

i agree. and yes i feel some guilt every time i hear about how bad the economy is and the credit crunch, blah blah...i start thinking 'i'm part of the problem now' and i realize that i'm contributing to the tougher credit environment that's coming up all around us...people will have a harder time qualifying for credit because of bkers like me, rates and prices will go up, landlords and loaners and employers and whoever else will be more conservative...and then i realize hey!!! that's all great news!!!!! why? because it means people will be reset to living within their means again, using their paychecks instead of the cotton candy density of credit.

it's sad we have to goon up our finances to figure out that we just need to live more simply. but i got the message loud and clear. and that education, that growth - it pretty much squashes the guilt.