Feel like a failure due to bk??

[HeatherB]

It really tugs at my strings that I see so many posts that state they somehow feel like a failure/loser because of them having to file bankruptcy.

This post is for all the "newbies" or just people who need a little more insight on the various people that have filed bankruptcy.....

A list of FAMOUS people who have filed bankruptcys....

Donald Trump, financier
Michael Jackson, singer
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, composer
Elton John, singer/composer
Kim Bassinger, actress
Mike Tyson, boxer
Mark Twain, humorist
Burt Reynolds, actor
Thomas Jefferson, patriot and president
Gary Coleman, child actor
MC Hammer, rap singer
Willie Nelson, country singer
Lorraine Bracco, "The Soprano's" actress
Charles Goodyear, inventor of vulcanized rubber
PT Barnum, circus promoter
Frank Baum, author of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz"
Mathew Brady, Civil War photographer
Oscar Wilde, playwright
Jerry Lee Lewis, rock singer
Rembrandt, painter
Henry Heinz, ketchup magnate
Milton Hershey, chocolate magnate
Henry Ford, auto magnate
Johnny Unitas, football player
Wayne Newton, entertainer
Mickey Rooney, actor
Debbie Reynolds, actress
John Connally, former Texas governor
Walt Disney, creator of Mickey Mouse
Mick Fleetwood, rock singer
Merle Haggard, country singer
Ulysses S. Grant, president and Civil War general
Dorothy Hamill, figure skater
Larry King, talk show host
Bowie Kuhn, former baseball commissioner
Stan Lee, comic book creator of "Spider Man"

So, if all these people turned their life around after bankruptcy, you can, too. Sometimes bankruptcy is just the start of a "better" life.....

[keepmine]

The only one who can make you feel like a loser is you.
Never forget that bk is nothing but a business decision. Are you better off by filing bk then, file. Be a good capitalist and act in a manner benefits you to the maximum extend possible. Lord knows that's what all of your creditors will do.

[Boscoe]

This should be a sticky.................

[magyar123]

I never regreted filing. Got my discharge papers on the day the Boston Red Sox won the World Series in 2004.
I was out of debt, stuck it to the crooked loansharks after they stuck me with high fees and interest. As far as I'm concerned I did the right thing

[Cassiopeia]

I think it's only natural to feel somewhat like a failure prior to filing, when you know the time is coming when that is what you literally MUST do...all other options are gone. (Although I'm not talking about those who are forced to file due to horrendous unforeseen catastrophic medical bills, or job lay-offs, etc.) I know in my own case, what got me into this mess was solely my mishandling of credit and poor financial management in general. So when I finally sought help and found out that I was too far gone even for CCCS help..and my credit was too shot for a mortgage on my home (I already had a HELOC), I was absolutely devastated. The word "failure" is mild compared to how I felt. Especially because I was raised so differently; my parents were both extremely frugal and saved all their lives....paid off credit cards in full every month; never a penny in interest. And yada yada. I never even dared tell my parents I filed (my Mom died about a week before my 341).

But frankly speaking (and this is what my wonderful paralegal told me), by the time I filed, THE WORST WAS OVER! And she was so right. And after my 341 I really breathed a sigh of relief. I felt "empowered" I guess is the word I used. My feelings of failure disappeared entirely. (This message board was also a huge, huge help.....like a "support group" of friends who had been through it.)

Honestly now, after it's over for me and I'm discharged, I could not be happier. I feel like I not only did the right thing, but it took GUTS and courage to do it! NO "failure" there. My big mistake was putting it off for so long because I felt like I failed with my life! Not so......I made some mistakes, but when mistakes are corrected, that brings pride. And victory.

I filed Chapter 7; I'm discharged. I no longer feel at all like a "failure," I feel like a WINNER!

[B12]

And.....add at the bottom of the list.....all of US!

It is a business decision, plain and simple.

You are a winner Cassie, ty for all your help.

[guzzie]

thats what the bk laws are there for .....to help a person get a new start......never regreted filing.....guzzie

[WantToBeDebtFre]

Thanks for this. I've been trying to have a positive attitude about the whole thing and I owe so much to this website and all of you good people. I would feel so alone without knowing there are so many other people out there in the same situation as me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[keepmine]

In a 1934 case, the Supreme Court got it very right.

http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/cgi-bin/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=292&invol=234

One of the primary purposes of the Bankruptcy Act is to 'relieve the honest debtor from the weight of oppressive indebtedness, and permit him to start afresh free from the obligations and responsibilities consequent upon business misfortunes.' Williams v. U.S. Fidelity & Guaranty Co., 236 U.S. 549, 554 , 555 S., 35 S.Ct. 289, 290. This purpose of the act has been again and again emphasized by the courts as being of public as well as private interest, in that it gives to the honest but unfortunate debtor who surrenders for distribution the property which he owns at the time of bankruptcy, a new opportunity in life and a clear field for future effort, unhampered by the pressure and discouragement of pre-existing debt. Stellwagen v. Clum, 245 U.S. 605, 617 , 38 S.Ct. 215; Hanover National Bank v. Moyses, supra; Swarts v. Fourth National Bank (C.C.A.) 117 F. 1, 3; United States v. Hammond (C.C.A.) 104 F. 862, 863; Barton Bros. v. Texas Produce Co. (C.C.A.) 136 F. 355, 357; Hardie v. Swafford Bros. Dry Goods Co. (C.C.A.) 165 F. 588, 591, 20 L.R.A.( N.S.) 785; Gilbert v. [292 U.S. 234, 245] Shouse (C.C.A.) 61 F.(2d) 398. The various provisions of the Bankruptcy Act were adopted in the light of that view and are to be construed when reasonably possible in harmony with it so as to effectuate the general purpose and policy of the act. Local rules subversive of that result cannot be accepted as controlling the action of a federal court.

[chpxiii]

You know.. I was just starting to feel ok about my bkcy, because I've requested a pay off and I will be sending that final amount in by middle of next week. (I know what it is and I have the money). I will be paying my chpt. 13 off 9 months early.

Then, I go to pull my credit reports, and from what someone else was saying at the CreditBoards.com forum, it appears that I may have defaulted on my student loans without realizing it.

In the time span of 2 minutes going from feeling giddy and hopeful about paying off my chpt. 13 to feeling like a ^%$#@!@# all over the $#@@ again realizing I may have defaulted. I haven't heard anything because I've been in bankruptcy. *sigh*

I want to cry now. My boyfriend was trying to reassure me. But ... I feel like such a failure, loser, and the feeling of hope I had just 1/2 hr ago has pretty much disappeared.

I'm 39 years old. I was hoping to FINALLY be able to buy a house in a couple of years. I have NO SAVINGS for retirement.

Why bother now? really? I just don't know anymore. And, crap.. I am starting to cry. I think I'll go laydown or play some game so I don't have to think anymore. Will I EVER get out of debt now? I'm feeling REALLY discouraged. It's like, what the hell was my bankruptcy for anyway since I probably have maybe $80k in student loan debt now (with interest accruing) and in default? Where's my "fresh start" now? Yes, I know that student loans were not dischargeable, but I didn't realize I would go into default. I probably should have not bothered getting an education now...


It was ALL FOR NOTHING NOW. (Yes, I admit am throwing a tantrum.)

/cry

[lrprn]

Then, I go to pull my credit reports, and from what someone else was saying at the CreditBoards.com forum, it appears that I may have defaulted on my student loans without realizing it. ... It was ALL FOR NOTHING NOW. (Yes, I admit am throwing a tantrum.)

Don't hit the skids just yet, chp....all is not lost. Contact your lenders, explain the circumstances, and see what needs to be done to negotiate a repayment schedule. Here's a good website that explains how to do it - http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/Obje...3/208/135/ART/

Lenders prefer to be paid back through regular channels, not go through the hassle of garnishing your wages or taking you to court. Be sure to come back to let us know how things go. I have a feeling you'll be fine.

[smarternow]

Just like most people in this forum, I was extremely ashamed when I finally made the decision to file CH. 13. But I have to tell you, a load was lifted when those letters went out to the creditors, telling them to cease and desist. The load lifted some more when the 341 meeting was over. And now that I have my discharge, I feel better than I have in a long time.
My parents were not good savers and now are struggling to live on social security, so I did not have good role models to guide me. They were good parents, just not good with money. What I do think got me was how the lending business changed between the time I was 18 (1973) and 30 years later. One dispute with a medical bill got me a late notice on my credit report, which got me 28 % interest on several credit cards, and coupled with the loss of overtime due to illness, all put me into BK. I am not shirking personal responsibility, I had too much debt. But the rules changed and the only way you find out is when the hammer falls. So don't be ashamed. Much worse things happen to nice people all the time.

[Bandit]

all those famous people and celebrities. Oh well. They aren't the first and they wont be the last.

Donald Trump, financier

I remember when this went down. Later he got into a fight with Rosie and said he never filed. That was funny to me.
"You did"
"No I did not"
"Yes you did"
"I never did"
"Oh yes you did"
"When, I never did"
"You did too"


It was funny.

[Flamingo]

I Honestly now, after it's over for me and I'm discharged, I could not be happier. I feel like I not only did the right thing, but it took GUTS and courage to do it! NO "failure" there. My big mistake was putting it off for so long because I felt like I failed with my life! Not so......I made some mistakes, but when mistakes are corrected, that brings pride.

Your statement above "...My big mistake was putting if off for so long" rings hard and true for many in that situation. We tried not to file after a major job layoff and severe drop in income, and an entire year went by of job hunting, living on savings and credit, hoping the next interview would bring that job to get us out of the rut and hole so we could refinance and pay off some of the debt and get back on track. All we did was put ourselves further into debt with that delay. Education is the key. As soon as one thinks they are in a bad jam, don't delay - research and find out your rights and what can and cannot be done. We used one of our 401(K)'s to try to avoid filing. Since we did not know any better at that time, if we filed sooner we could have kept the entire thing. Due to our emotions and lost feeling, we did not think to educate ourselves our filing; we just tried to avoid it. The day we actually went for our first appointment was horrible. I thought everyone was staring at us like we were bad people. Our attorney made us feel better about the entire process but that it was going to be long and hard (we filed Chapter 13). That it was but it gave us a whole new start and a whole new perspective on many things.

[keepmine]

all those famous people and celebrities. Oh well. They aren't the first and they wont be the last.


I remember when this went down. Later he got into a fight with Rosie and said he never filed. That was funny to me.
"You did"
"No I did not"
"Yes you did"
"I never did"
"Oh yes you did"
"When, I never did"
"You did too"


It was funny.

Actually, The Donald has never filed a personal bk. He has filed a Chapter 11 twice for his business interest.