Wish there weren't so many snarky people.

[momof5]

Whatever...lighten up!

Mike,
Maybe you can help us chapter 7 people understand you better. That might help us all lighten up when you make a post that is clearly nasty or insulting. For example the person who posted the other day about being so HAPPY they were discharged and you responded with something about 9 more years. I think the majority of us are very confused as to why you keep doing things like that. Obviously the poster knew 9 more years before their credit was cleaned up but why at that moment of happiness for them did you feel like you needed to say something to remind them of the a major negative to filing bankruptcy?
I honestly dont think its these people who need to lighten up but you who needs to do some soul searching. If your not happy with your life or your situation then do something to change it.LIfe is just to short and precious to waste by being so negative all the time.
I know there are only words in front of your screen, but there are real live humans with feelings that read those words. Please just spend a few seconds before you post and think about who you very well might hurt or why you are posting what you are. If its got no good behind it then just dont post it. Or as I tell the kids... If you dont have anything nice to say then just dont say anything.

Edit to add: I just saw you posted something really nice and supportive to a poster who really seemed down today. Thank you.... it was nice to read.

[MajorMike]

Whatever...lighten up!

[cleo1357]

This can be a major problem on forums like this. And when I say, "major"......I mean major major.

I agree, it's a "major" problem at times around this forum

[Mom2one]

I know I ask way too many questions But I am so thankful for this board!

Christine

[Dirk Squarejaw]

It is far & few in between that you get someone here who has an agenda to put people down, call them names & make personal attacks.

This can be a major problem on forums like this. And when I say, "major"......I mean major major.

[morallyBR2]

to lighten the mood

LOL, too f-ing funny

[Bandit]

I think its also hard to read emotion in posts. I know the smiley faces off to the side help but when a person types they read and write with their own emotions. Others may take something and completely misunderstand.

It does happen that way. It is hard to know where everyone is with their emotions on this. Or one day they are happy & jumping, the next day very sad & depressed over something. it is not possible to know how everyone reacts to suggestions, problems or answers & various outcomes.
I think it is mostly in the initial shock of what is happening that the emotions play the biggest part like say the first 3 months, then after accepting, we start climbing to our goal & become stronger through the process.

Then you start to realize that there is like a little family here who remains constant & concerned. I dont give praise to the internet forums very often. Besides all the politics & junk topics like gasoline prices is...well you know, so you cant really offend or get offended, which is nice.

In general this a good, genuine upbeat place to help each other. The motives are good.

[Bandit]

It seems to me that there have been a lot of snippy responses to some peoples posts. I don't get it?

We're all in this together and should try to be as helpful as possible, not judgemental.

It is far & few in between that you get someone here who has an agenda to put people down, call them names & make personal attacks. I have been judged here are couple of times but the mods pretty much nipped it & put a stop to it as it went way out of control.

We are all in this together & I dont care who thinks they are so much better & deserving while judging another or accusing them of fraud, they have no right to decide who is allowed a BK. Everyone deserves a second chance- from the guy who makes the most money & the gal with the least problems, to the gal with the least money and the man with the most problems.

Sometimes you might see something that seems snippy & snarky, that could definately be taken as abrasive & mean, but they are probably meaning well with the good intent. If you see something in particular that goes beyond just giving personal opinions that are meant as personal attacks that tend to turn into put downs & judging, you can report it by clicking the little red icon on the left bottom corner & the mods WILL investigate & stop it.

It is rare but it does happen where you have people who provoke. Or you can tell me because I have no problem going around wasting my time with mean nasty people while keeping my cool and I can get them on a hook to show the real intent One cannot hide obnoxious pride even behind these forums because out of the mouth does the intent of the heart reveal itself.

[momof5]

And also many times people take things way to personal.

I think its also hard to read emotion in posts. I know the smiley faces off to the side help but when a person types they read and write with their own emotions. Others may take something and completely misunderstand.

[BassBoy]

If there are responses that are insulting and meant insinuate agruments/fights, you all know what to do and rest assured those who break the forum rules will be dealt with accordingly.

That aside........

The topics we discuss here are quite sensative and those who have never been though a bankruptcy don't understand. I'm talking about the people who come here only to put us down, start fights and talk out of their (you know what) and offer nothing to the forum. And yes, we've had a few members that have taken their anger or frustrations out on our members and we took care of it.....and we will continue to do so.

PM's and reporting innapropiate and derogatory posts is your best defense. Do not let another member/poster get a rise out of you. And remember, we are here to help and offer support to those who need it. In my opinion, this is one of the best discussion forums around that discusses such a sensative topic.....and we do it well, so let's keep this well oiled machine going.

[Cali]

Flamingo - I dig your font. And ITA w/ all you posted.

[Flamingo]

I agree there are a few people that might seem judgemental, but for the most part everyone is willing to help others out. Many times someone post questions when they should have just done a search and they would've found the answer.

And also many times people take things way to personal.

I agree. But this forum is nothing like other forums out there and I wish I had the advice and support that is available on here now back when we filed in 2002! The forums then were loaded with trolls and people who would eat you alive if you posted and wrong advice/information given, usually on purpose! Then there have been folks on here that no matter how much good advice they are given by several posters, they just don't get it or revert back to what they were going to do anyway...or the folks who get impatient when someone doesn't respond back to them in 60 seconds or less.

I got berated in a recent posting by a brand new poster who told me that I was being rude for suggesting a certain way to cut expenses in a Chapter 13 to another poster as it related to medical costs (who asked for suggestions and who also got similar responses from other posters) and also for using a font that was darker and larger to get my point across, although I have been using the same size font and style for well over a year when someone told me my font was too small and to make it larger! You just can't please everyone...

Everyone, be thankful for this forum - those of us who have been on here a while can tell you that the experience and knowledge on here is priceless. Most posters try to help in any way they can and try to get points across as best as they can and as mentioned by Cali, may take it personally when it was meant to be of great help and service. Bankruptcy and financial issues are not at the high end of the Happy Chart!

[JollyGG]

We all need to try to be informative, helpful and nonjudgemental.

But we also have to remember a few things

1. Most people here are at a very stressful point in their lives and we need to cut them a little slack if they are a little testy at times.

2. Many of the oldtimers who have been through this and come out on the other side have seen many of the same question dozens and dozens of time. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be compasionate. But it does mean that we need to be a little patient if the answer is brief and blunt. (especially when it is a question answered in the stickies or FAQ section)

3. Sometimes someone being blunt can be hurtful because we are thin skinned at this stressful time in our lives not because they were necessarily that cruel. Sometimes the truth hurts when we aren't ready to hear it yet.

[Cali]

I agree there are a few people that might seem judgemental, but for the most part everyone is willing to help others out. Many times someone post questions when they should have just done a search and they would've found the answer.

And also many times people take things way to personal.

It seems to me that there have been a lot of snippy responses to some peoples posts. I don't get it?

We're all in this together and should try to be as helpful as possible, not judgemental.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Folks, you are right, but remember what we came here for and ARE here for now. Many people are stressed. I am for sure, and getting impatiant after 120 days from 341. But compassion is the message. We either hang here together or leave and hang ourselves alone.

I admit to going off now and again and I also see stress from others. I shall give and take as we are all the same. Attempting a new life start. 'Hub