Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!) (updated: 04/28/2015)

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Holidays and I am ready to hibernate!

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  • Holidays and I am ready to hibernate!

    Well, here I go into the first holidays of my Chapter 13 life. Lucky I guess as I don't have kids/family who expect 'gifts.' Of course there is the BUT coming in this post as I have friends who over the years insist on 'gifting' each other. Seeing I was completely broke by midyear, and I do mean $0 and going negative, there is nothing in the Christmas fund this year. I am sure many of you have been in this position with a lean Christmas, but honestly I don't see having even $20 to spend on a pot-luck party. Maybe next year, but clearly not this year.

    Last week a 'friend' invited me to Thanksgiving Dinner, but she required I bring something to eat (side dish/dessert), when I asked how many people she said 15! I declined her offer and said I was working.

    I am concerned about Christmas. Like I said, I am just finally getting my feet under me and the little in the piggy bank really needs to be for an emergency fund. I just want them to leave me alone this year(angry statement). Don't come visiting me with gifts as I have nothing to exchange, don't invite me to parties I can't afford to go to, stop expecting me to join you Christmas shopping and doing lunch.

    What did you do the first Christmas in Chapter 13?

  • #2
    I can't believe some one else hasn't already replied to your very thoughtful post!
    Yes, this is also our first holiday season in a very stressful and thus far unpleasant BK13, and like you I would like to hibernate but for the entire 4 plus years we are condemned to continue this process (I refuse to call it a journey!) Like you, I have no kids/family for whom I am forced to buy totally unnecessary presents! I am married and have 4 cats but my husband and I decided last year when we still had cash( and access to credit) that we would not exchange gifts any more for birthdays and holidays. You see, my mother died April 2016 and after that I lost all interest in celebrating anything. I think people try to sugarcoat the legendary BK budget which" teaches you so much" and pretend that this is anything other than an enforced fixed income designed to maximize the creditors payback and leave you with just enough to pay allowed and unavoidable bills! Remember no disposable income permitted!You are wise not to put yourself in positions where you are made to feel uncomfortable about your lack of funds. We are not hosting a Christmas party at our house for our voice over group because frankly ,we don't have the money! And we are only going to get togethers where we are not expected to pitch in - like store Holiday parties where they offer free food and have prize drawings! Our former neighbors have invited us on the 30th and we may only take some home cooked meal (my husband is off and can cook very economically for 10-15.) These people are relatively wealthy and travel constantly ! If I could contribute to charity, I would only give to animal causes (preferably feline rescues) so don't call me asking for donations, local fire departments and police departments, all you will get is a BK sob story,LOL! Don't let your well off friends make you feel bad for not buying them gifts -as the old saying goes Charity Begins At Home! I hope you have some one to spend Christmas and the New Year with, other wise it will be hard. I hope you have some one you can confide in about the realities of your predicament! Luckily I have my spouse and three beautiful young cats and a crabby old cat (my mother's semi-feral female) to pass the hours with. Being destitute and under the yoke of the BK court is no easy pick nick,even if many posters would some how make you believe this is a blessed situation and the lessons they are learning make all deprivations worthwhile!
    Good luck on getting through a less than stellar season!
    Last edited by Barbisi; 12-18-2017, 09:13 AM.


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