Humbled, exhausted, I need help.

[codingirl79]

We are currently half way through our chp. 13 bankruptcy. I can say that I have aged considerably, my health has declined due to severe anxiety from my financial stressors. This stress caused me to have to resign from my management position of 15 years. I lost my benefits and the tuition reimbursment for the BIG ten university I worked for. I have since taken another job. I am content with this position. However, my fear of losing this job as well looms over my head.

My husband quit his job, just quit and did not find a job for two months. This caused us to miss two trustee payments which have been paid back. Our mortgage is paid, as well as our car. My husband has a job that he will hopefully keep.

Our home, my beautiful, quaint, turn of the century little gem, Is falling apart due to the fact that I cannot afford to pay for repairs. The toilet is running, there is a leak in the basement that is a constant trickle causing the sump pump to go off a few times a day, Everything is broken, trashed, un -fixable for a inexperienced home owner. Besides, the cost of the supplies, I couldn't afford to fix.

I have not had a physical, dental appt, or any other appointment for two years at least. I had a cancer scare and it was a huge deductible that now is unpaid. If I am sick, I can't afford to save myself, Sometimes, I don't even care. I think it would be a relief from the constant worry of finances. Don't worry, I would not do anything to harm myself.

We have a multitude of unpaid bills from trying to survive the loss of income for two months. I owe IRS $1000, local taxes, utilities.

We sold much that could be sold. I have worked two jobs just to put food on the table.

I don't feel that there is an end in sight. I have to fix our home. I have no idea how to pay for it. I wish that I could just leave everything, and start over. I hate my life, I hate that I ruined my financial life.

If I could get out of this and be ok, keep our home, I would.

Thank you for reading this. I have no one to vent to. No one understands.

[flashoflight]

Sorry to hear about your struggles with home repairs and other issues.

I got an idea. I noticed you and your husband changed jobs. Can you withdraw from the old employer's 401k since you separated service? If so, maybe you can use that to fix the most urgent and critical issues.

Next, is your plan payment driven by non-exempt home equity? If not, maybe you can use the receipts for the repair work paid by the 401k to reduce your plan payment via home maintenance in the budget and stick the legal fees for the motion to modify in the plan as well. Your house is very old so it's going to have higher maintenance.

My plan payment was reduced by $350/month in my initial filing for home maintenance in the budget. That was very high but accepted by the trustee once my attorney pre-emptively submitted receipts. I wish it was higher because that ain't enough even for a 45 year old house. I ran on portable space heaters and two portable AC for a year until I could scrape the money for the HVAC replacement. I fixed the pinwheel pipe leak but started saving up for the whole house repipe. I had to replace my fence before the snitches called code enforcement on my fallen wood fence. Bathroom faucet leaked and the drain did as well, so I patched the drain and used that sink very sparingly until the faucet could be replaced. The struggle is real.

[Barbisi]

I feel for you codingirl79 ! I too had serious medical conditions that the BK13 years made much worse (i.e. huge growing fibroids that finally necessitated uterine removal, inflamed mysofascial areas that required cortisone shots and expensive PT treatments like shockwave therapy not covered by insurance, etc. to avoid potentially crippling surgery and long drawn-out rehab). And more importantly, I also had a house that was slowly falling apart, albeit apparently not to the point of yours.
flashoflight offers some excellent ideas , but have you thought about planning strategically for when your BK13 (hopefully and successfully) ends? Could you just fix it enough that you could sell it to an investor (as we did) and come out with some real money for your start over New Life?
Whatever you decide, best of luck and know you are not the only one who went through hellish health issues and an ageing house in need of serious repairs!
BK13 was the absolutely worst financial disaster in my life and one of the three worst life experiences I managed to survive.
No amount of rewriting reality after it's done will ever make these five years anything but a stressful struggle. I hope you can find the emotional and economic support you need and deserve to make it through this five-year inferno!