file BK without spousal approval.

[AngelinaCat]

Kathy, we haven't hear from you today. How are you doing?

[Pjmax]

I would guess that many people only turn to GA after they've lost everything. They are certainly not there to judge, but to hopefully help you before you get to that place. They may be strangers now, but every one of them has this big thing in common with you. Things always seem more real when you first start hearing yourself say them out loud. You are facing your demons head on. When you start to feel that this is too hard and you want to stop, think of how much DH means to you. You are doing a courageous thing, but you will probably have many more head battles with yourself. I hope your sponsor gave you a phone number, if not, there's always the hotline. Stick those phone numbers on your car dashboard. When you feel that urge to head your car to Foxwoods, look at those numbers, and use them.

You can do this. Your future, your marriage and possibly your life depend on it. Train your mind to remember that when you feel you want to quit.

Big HUGS from me too.

[Drazil65]

My guess is that you will find out that what you have to tell them about who you owe money to or how much will not be a surprise or shock to many of them. It is common among GA members that some of them venture outside the normal realms of borrowing money and get involved with seedy, unhealthy situations. Had an ex brother-in-law that was in deep and had been for years, nearly killed him with the stress and living a double life. He got outside help (outside the family because like you mentioned everyone in the family was done helping and it was the best thing for him as it was nothing but enabling when they were "helping") from GA and another organization. Took a couple of years but after the first 6 months, things were so much better for him and it was up from there. No easy, quick fix just a lot of effort and work on his part. But the people he was involved with were of that seedy part of life that I mentioned earlier and was not a good situation. He is good now some 6 years later, more than good actually and is a sponsor at GA. You are not alone in this fight so keep at it, the effort is so worth it.

[pamkev]

Kathy,
You can do this even like Cat said ONE MINUTE at a time

I am sure you did not make a fool of yourself you were among people who have been there and done that. Maybe even worse. Just hang on

[AngelinaCat]

You CAN do this--one baby step at a time. One MINUTE at a time. Remember? We are all rooting for you here.

[kathyc02124]

I'm not sure I can do this. I spent the whole meeting crying. I made a fool of myself. way too embarrassing. My sponsor just told me to let it out and let it happen. That just made me cry more. I had told her about my credit card debt, but when she asked if there were any other people I owed money to, that was the last thing I remember. The rest I can remember was just uncontrollable crying. She knows I owe more than what I am telling her. It is way too degrading to tell her who else I owe and how much. How will I ever be able to own up to that????? stress! I'm so thankful I can come on here and be anonymous. This board is so comforting to me. Even when I am not posting on here, I read and re-read all the postings over and over. and then I read them again.

[AngelinaCat]

but, notice I am HOME on a tuesday night. not at the casino.

Congratulations!!!! {{{{{HUGGGSSSS}}}}} You have taken the First Step. It is a matter of taking 'one DAY at a time', and sometimes that devolves into dealing with it 'one MINUTE at a time.

[kathyc02124]

yes. suffice to say I am deeply involved with people no one "wants" to be involved with. And they change the rules whenever they feel like it. And the changes are NEVER in my favor.

stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful

but, notice I am HOME on a tuesday night. not at the casino.

[kathyc02124]

first meeting: stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful stressful .

[AngelinaCat]

I need spiritual help. Financial help doesn't work. People have bailed me out. My husband. My parents. My brother.
I need to get through this financially, on my own. (With the help of bankruptcy to wipe it all out, would be a huge help). I have a big debt with someone that I would not want ANYONE else to EVER get involved with. And if my husband ever finds out about them, I will be in even bigger trouble than those people can even give me.
But, I am on my way to help. GA. Hope I am still welcome here in the meantime.

You most certainly ARE welcome here! {{{{{{HUGGSS}}}}}}

[AngelinaCat]

That's the type I was thinking of also

I think she has gotten herself involved with loan sharks who do not operate and abide by the law of any sort, other than their own.

[pamkev]

I wasnt referring to payday loans... I was referring to uh...Tony Soprano types :/

That's the type I was thinking of also

[Pandora]

Kathy

GA is the first step down a long road to be traveled, you can do it but will need the support of your husband. Honesty is the best policy - I hope you can take the next step and lay all the cards on the table once and for all.

Keep going forward, the pay off will be the best one in your life

[Pandora]

Pandora, payday loans CAN be discharged in BK. And if they violate BK stay, they can be sued like any other creditors.

I wasnt referring to payday loans... I was referring to uh...Tony Soprano types :/

[angel7821]

None of us are perfect and we have all done wrong things otherwise we wouldn't be here. Everyone makes mistakes so we just need to learn from them and try not to repeat them. You will always be welcome here. You are on the right path. It is going to take time but you CAN do this. Just take it one day at a time.