file BK without spousal approval.

[kathyc02124]

I'm involved with people I don't want to be involved with for sure. But it is not easy getting out. I'm trying hard though.

[kathyc02124]

Get to GA like yesterday you need it your husband needs it. Do you have children?

Pam

No, we do not have children. I called GA before but never followed through with attending a meeting.

[kathyc02124]

My sis in law has a bad gambling problem also. My brother had no idea until one day he had to use his credit card and thought he had a lot of available credit and his purchase was declined. He called the cc company to see what was going on and sure enough his card was maxed out. Seems my sis in law had been using those blank checks that come in the mail and was forging my brothers signature on them. She was deep in debt to pay day loan companies and cc companies and just gambled her paychecks away every Friday. She was not paying any bills either. She had shoe boxes full of unpaid bills under the bed hiding all this from my brother. Well my brother threatened to take their son and leave her unless she did something about this horrible mess she had gotten herself into.

She swore she would get a second job to pay off all this debt. And she did. She worked 2 full time jobs for 4 years and paid it all back. She lived on like 4 hours of sleep a day but never complained. She is now debt free and their marriage is strong to this day. She has gained my brothers trust again (which took a long time) and has not gambled since. I think she knows if she gets into trouble again it will cost her the marriage.

Gambling is a horrible addiction and I don't wish it on anyone. I saw first hand how it almost destroyed a marriage. OP good luck to you in your situation. Their is a way out and when you find it you have got to be strong and never gamble again. There is help out there for your addiction and you need to get on board with that.

Your sister in law and I have a lot in common. I'm working 16-20 hours of overtime each week just treading water, never getting ahead.

[pamkev]

Get to GA like yesterday you need it your husband needs it. Do you have children?

Pam

[angel7821]

My sis in law has a bad gambling problem also. My brother had no idea until one day he had to use his credit card and thought he had a lot of available credit and his purchase was declined. He called the cc company to see what was going on and sure enough his card was maxed out. Seems my sis in law had been using those blank checks that come in the mail and was forging my brothers signature on them. She was deep in debt to pay day loan companies and cc companies and just gambled her paychecks away every Friday. She was not paying any bills either. She had shoe boxes full of unpaid bills under the bed hiding all this from my brother. Well my brother threatened to take their son and leave her unless she did something about this horrible mess she had gotten herself into.

She swore she would get a second job to pay off all this debt. And she did. She worked 2 full time jobs for 4 years and paid it all back. She lived on like 4 hours of sleep a day but never complained. She is now debt free and their marriage is strong to this day. She has gained my brothers trust again (which took a long time) and has not gambled since. I think she knows if she gets into trouble again it will cost her the marriage.

Gambling is a horrible addiction and I don't wish it on anyone. I saw first hand how it almost destroyed a marriage. OP good luck to you in your situation. Their is a way out and when you find it you have got to be strong and never gamble again. There is help out there for your addiction and you need to get on board with that.

[AngelinaCat]

I appreciate all your efforts to help. This board is very helpful. The problem is I have not been as specific about my total financial problems. I am afraid to discuss too much on here but every payday I pay someone $400 on close to a $10,000 debt. Only $200 of that amount goes to the debt. The other $200 is interest. And on occasion if I miss a payment, $500 gets added to the other end. And I can't explain to my husband where $400 goes every week. And I certainly couldn't claim it on the means test. So I work as much overtime as I can, because my husband expects me to pay all the credit card bills at the end of the month, that I have run up. That is why I thought if I could get rid of the credit card debt, I could use that money to make extra payments on the other debt. And no, it is not possible at all to change anything about the $400 every week. That is a must.

Dearest Daughter---and I DO mean that--. You are involved with some loan sharks. And unless these people are legitimate PayDay Loan people, you are going to end up on the short end of the stick. AND if the situation is like I am thinking it is, BK isn't going to help you at all.

You need to 'fess up and talk to DH NOW. I hope he loves you enough to put up with what you are putting him through....

[kathyc02124]

It's on my mind everyday. I'm looking everywhere, trying to find a way out of this. I'm afraid my husband will give up and leave if he finds out the trouble I am in. He has warned me man times that he can no longer help me and those were the times when I was only in debt for a few thousand. This time is much worse. I'm certain he will leave. I had to beg the last time. This will be the 3rd "last" time. I just don't know what else to do.

[keepsmiling]

You are playing a very dangerous game. But you know that already... right?
You'd best be forthcoming with your hub immediately. He's going to find out one way or the other.

[kathyc02124]

I appreciate all your efforts to help. This board is very helpful. The problem is I have not been as specific about my total financial problems. I am afraid to discuss too much on here but every payday I pay someone $400 on close to a $10,000 debt. Only $200 of that amount goes to the debt. The other $200 is interest. And on occasion if I miss a payment, $500 gets added to the other end. And I can't explain to my husband where $400 goes every week. And I certainly couldn't claim it on the means test. So I work as much overtime as I can, because my husband expects me to pay all the credit card bills at the end of the month, that I have run up. That is why I thought if I could get rid of the credit card debt, I could use that money to make extra payments on the other debt. And no, it is not possible at all to change anything about the $400 every week. That is a must.

[Pjmax]

Kathy, you haven't been too specific about your total finances, but I'll try and explain in simple general terms, as I understand it. IF all your accounts, assets, debts are JOINT, IF you could successfully BK on your OWN, you would be discharged from responsibility, but DH would not and would be solely responsible for the debts, and in addition, his credit report would be affected, because these BKs on joint accounts have a way of intruding on the non-BKer's reports. AND, as a couple, you would still owe the full amount, nothing will go away, it just gets shifted from both of you to DH. I'm sort of getting the impression that you think filing BK yourself would wipe out your half of the debt.

And, I'm not even considering the loan-shark debt (I don't know what else to call it.) As said above, it sounds like these lenders may not operate within the law.

[LadyInTheRed]

We said that right away. I suspect these lenders are even less kosher than payday guys.

Yeah, I think these are the type of creditors that don't use the courts for collection. This is the husband's problem whether he likes it or not. They both may be in physical danger.

[CarolynTIXE]

Hi Kathy,

If you are anywhere near Harvard, they offer pro bono services for chapter 13 filers that fall under certain income guidelines. You always have the option to attend the pro se (meaning people without an attorney) clinic at your local bankruptcy court for assistance. These clinics are free of charge as well. Although these resources may not answer all of your questions, you may find it helpful to be in the company of others in the same situation and get clarification regarding the different kinds of bankruptcy protection available to you (e.g. chapters 7, 13, and 11). You can try running terms like "massachusetts pro bono bankruptcy clinic" through your search engine.

When I was with the Office of the U.S. Trustee, we saw plenty of married individuals file without their spouses in a variety of chapters. It happens. The best bet is to make sure to be completely forthcoming about your financial picture on your petition: assets, liabilities, income, expenses ... the whole nine yards. Bankruptcy is our government's solution to give people a chance to recover from bad financial situations. That's one reason I respect this process so much ... a chance for everyone. But according to the Bankruptcy Code, Local Rules, etc., an entity has to fall within certain guidelines to receive this relief. The complicated nature of these rules and regulations makes it very important that you seek the advice of licensed, qualified legal counsel. And I stress "licensed" and "qualified".

You're doing some great preliminary research here. Be sure to exercise the same diligence when deciding who will prepare your petition and represent you, if anyone.

[keepsmiling]

We said that right away. I suspect these lenders are even less kosher than payday guys.

[dina13]

Pandora, payday loans CAN be discharged in BK. And if they violate BK stay, they can be sued like any other creditors.

[Pandora]

I feel sorry for your situation if you're into owing "those types of people" money. As Keep pointed out, you cant discharge that kind of debt, hopefully if you file BK you'll have enough money to pay them off if this is the case. I pray if this really is the situation, that your husband (and yourself) have a heart to heart soul searching discussion of how these types of people work when money is owed to them and pay them off as soon as possible, never getting into that situation again.

Your husband should be more concerned (again if this truly is the case) about owing these people money (doesnt matter WHO owes it..you're married - half a dozen of one, half a dozen of the other, ya know?) than his credit rating.

Good luck in whatever you decide.